To See

We had a great night with the neighbours last night.

Good diversion from annoyances with children and between spouses and life and things we worry about.

 Son#1 went for a sleep-over at a (tomboy-ish girl-)friend's house.

It's almost lunchtime and he's still there.

I guess it's going well.

 It's raining in the Nether Lands today, and the wind is howling over the landscape, hitting us with a gust or two every now and then.

We are lethargic after last night's imbibing in spirits.

The will is there to go out into the world and DO something, but the flesh is a bit weak today.

I want to stay in my pajamas really, and read the day away.

Sigh.

In South Africa, my dad is drifting in and out of consciousness.

He eats nothing.

Is this the next phase in his process of dying??

He is angry and annoyed at times.

I spoke to him shortly on Monday, the 7th of October.

This was my last talk with my dad, and we talked about the medical costs that were climbing and climbing.  

We spoke for about 2 minutes until I asked him to give the phone to my mother.

I thought there would be another opportunity to speak to my dad again.

How strange and foreign it feels to realize that this will never happen.

It's odd to realize that the grieving process has already started while my father is still alive.

My dad's sleepiness and confusion is the worst of all for my mother.

His body is still here, but his spirit is already departing.

Touch and go in this life, touch and go in the next.

And my mother feels the loneliness worst of all.

Being with someone, but being lonely, is surely the worst loneliness of all.

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