She's gone to Capri and she ain't coming back

My mother and I used to smirk and enjoy this cigarette ad that was always on the back page of the Architectural Digest.  
Something to enjoy after drooling over houses we would never be able to afford.

Bliss.

Son#1 has his second rugby tournament today and the husband just left with him and Son#2 in tow, amidst a flurry of stressed discontent.
You know what???
I'm tired of the husband's stress, and I'm tired of my own.
I'm tired of stress in general.

The water pump that keeps our cellar nice and dry from all the water that constantly seeps through the dyke to lower ground (a.k.a. our back garden), broke sometime during the night.
This was the last straw that broke the camel's [husband's]  back this morning.

A colleague who believed I had 'potential' sort of 'fired' me this week, without coming right out and saying it.
He's been acting strange around me ever since I came back from South Africa, and I'm not sure if he expected me to actually keep working on my Personal Development whilst dealing with my father's death, coming back to lots of work, a stressed spouse, and 3 boys that neeeeeeeeed me constantly.  

My life is not lived in quiet isolation where I get to pick and choose where my time goes.  
My life is 'lived' in many ways, and to want it differently is actually quite ridiculous.
This colleague told me that nothing 'must' happen, you should want it.
And while I agree with him to a certain extent, there are many aspects to my life that require me to just do it - things I must do (or my kids will live in squalor, starving and dirty and I certainly wouldn't be going to work).
And I have to support my husband even when he's being weird and stressed and hopeless, because I want him to do that for me when I feel like that, because we love each other dearly.
Sigh. 

When I was still in South Africa, in the conflict-free environment of my mother's house and a loving-adoring Son#3 to cuddle all the time, I contemplated taking a detour through Greece.
Just staying there until my credit card stopped working.  

I'm putting that intention out there, that someday, someone will say those words about me:
Yo's gone to Capri and she ain't coming back.
Ever.


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