Saturday & Alone at Home

The weekend promises to bring some rain and will remain cloudy and cold. 
After temperatures of almost 20 degrees, it's a hard chunk to swallow now that we're back to a measly 10 degrees again.
Sigh.

Son#2, Son#3 and I were up early after a restless night.  
Son#2 is full of beans though, after a lovely breakfast he's hoisted himself in his Superman suit again and is now rearranging the couch cushions all over the floor as he jumps off the table to break his fall.

Son#3 is not handling his vaccination well:  He has a huge bruise on his right thigh, poor bunny.

I have no idea what we'll do today...  

Have to be stingy with my money with the upcoming move to the new house, the husband took his lease car with free diesel  to Paris with him, and my minivan is thirsty.
He'll only be back tomorrow night late.

The house is quiet without Son#1 here, and I miss his ideas on what to do and where to go.

Meanwhile it's almost 10 a.m., I'm still in my pajamas and all I can be proud of so far is that I've refilled the bird feeder.

I could clean the house but I sincerely believe that it would be taking this domesticity-thing a tad too far, don't you agree?

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Breda Breda

                                                                          

I 

love 

this 

lighthouse

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C'est Le Weekend: It was tough, but it's over now

Yesterday was a tough day.
I had to go to Rotterdam to discuss Son#2's progress with the neurologist & neuropsychologist.
It's confrontational to discuss him or have him go for tests.
And I hate that he is judged by standards that won't necessarily be fair or correct.
He's just turned 4.  Give the kid a break.
To make a long story short, when I got back in my car after the meeting, I bawled like a baby.

Son#3 got his vaccinations in the afternoon, then Son#2's eyes were tested and the vision in his left eye is a bit below standard, so we'll have to go to hospital again to see an orthoptist.  
Am getting fed-up with doctors and doctor's visits and health issues.
But I'm being poooooositive...  

Luckily it's weekend, and I'm taking it slowly and going to bed early and plan on studying a bit inbetween kids and sleep.

Just breathe and smile.

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Tell it like it is

For once I have nothing to add.

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Oh so positive

Am being oh so positive.

Even my blood type is O positive.

That is, surely, a sign from the Universe???

You know, lots of aspects of my life are stressful, painful, difficult.

But I know that these things are really a matter of perception.
It requires a shift in my perspective, that's all.
What do I choose to give importance to?
Of course all these tough things don't disappear, or maybe they do, but even if they wouldn't go away, looking on the bright side would make it a lot easier to bear, for me and my family.
Wish I could always remember these things.

It was Oscar Wilde (I'm almost positive it was him, if you'll pardon the pun, and if not, it might have been Epictetus), that said:

Everything is interesting if you think it so.

I suppose I could replace 'interesting' with 'good' or 'positive' or 'lovely' or 'possible'.

Trying to be positive about my life and my gorgeous kiddies also has to do with being completely fed-up with all this blooming negativity all around me.

Life is quite simple when you boil it down to the nitty-gritty, isn't it?

Love, laugh, eat, rest, enjoy, play, work a little and don't sweat the small stuff. (And yes, Richard Carlson was right, it is all small stuff).

Pretty soon you'll be 82 and then it's all over.

Focus on what is good, forget chronic pain and sleep deprivation and stress from work and life and remember that I have fantastic, interesting sons and idem ditto husband and a family that adores me.

I must sound like a horrid cliche, but cliches always have some kernel of truth to them, don't they?

This weekend the husband is off to Paris for a weekend away from the daily grind.

Am home alone with Son#2 and Son#3, Son#1 being at my in-laws.

Now why are they called in-laws, and not outlaws?

A point to ponder.

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MOTI

On Sunday we took the boys to the Museum of the Image (MoTI), something we did 2 years ago as well.
This time around, it was quite good.  
In the past two years, they've done a lot to improve the collection. 
Not just different fonts but a special exhibit about art in supermarkets - how labels are also art forms, something I never really thought about.

New insight:  Check. 

Afterwards, we walked to the park where Son#2 stood out as the beautiful child he is:  
The only person in Breda parading around in his Superman uniform and feeling quite chuffed with himself.

We had wine in the sun, practising our people watching-skills, and just being happy to be together.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend.

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Even Superman...

...must learn how to ride a bike.

Ride before you fly, my son.

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Mega Muffin

No, this is not a recipe post.  
More like an apt description of my current physique.  
To be more precise, Mega Muffin TOP.

This is why I'll be walking to work again this morning, although my hormones are so post-pregnancy-out-of-whack that this has no effect on weight so far.

No wine this week.
Low-fat quark, fruit, soup and salad.
Try to curb the carbohydrates.
Stop stuffing face with chocolates (which I don't even like!!!).
Use Stevia for sweetness instead, which the Dutch Authorities have finally allowed in our shops.

The transformation into Mini Muffin has begun!


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Intouchables

Date night with the husband was wonderful.

First off we went to Dames Pellens for wine & beer.

Then to the movies to watch Intouchables (more about that in a second).

After the movies, we went to De Beyerd, an old cafe wth old people, to drink yet more beer and cider.

A gloooooorious evening.

The highlight was of course the movie.  

I don't think I've ever seen a movie that made me smile from the beginning to the end.  
My expectations weren't very high:  
Handicapped man + Carer never really equals Heartwarming to me.  
I sort of expected a moralistic movie with lots of Lessons For Life inbetween overly sentimental dribble.

I'm so glad I was wrong.

Aferwards, the husband and I couldn't decide why the movie was so damn great, why we couldn't stop smiling.  
I guess the moral of the story was that there wasn't a moral of the story:  
Simply two people whose lives touch and they are better because of it.  

Am going to go and see it again.

Luv-er-ly.
 


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G.K. Chesterton

You see great things from the valley,

only small things from the top.

We love new perspectives!

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C'est Le Weekend: Fill thy branches with leaves!

You can do it!!

This weekend the clock goes back to summertime.
That means an hour forward.
We'll be back on par with South African time.
Tomorrow morning the boys will therefore wake up at 6h45 instead of the usual 5h45.
That'll feel a lot better.
I'm being ever so optimistic today!

It's going to be a great weekend.

Our babysitter is back from Peru and is coming tonight:
The husband and I still have to decide what we'd like to do this evening.
Luxury!

The sun is beaming down from the blue skies
I'm going for a long walk with Son#3,
and then meeting the husband and boys in the park for a picnic.

My confidence at work is back in full force.
That feels great:
It's awful if you feel rotten somewhere
and then you have to spend the better part of your week there as well.
Getting recognition is vital.

I am at peace today.
Hope you are too.
:)


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Choo Choo Train is Riding

 It's picking you up in Turnhout

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Gardeners are closer to heaven

Spring has me in its grip.  
All I can dream of is my soon-to-own-new-garden.
What will I plant, how many gorgeous garden parties am I going to throw, what it would look like.  
Me, party thrower:  Mmmmm.  More like a recluse. 
Guess if I didn't have to leave the house, I wouldn't.  
But more about my not-so-normal-personality at a later stage.

In the meantime, I've started collecting pictures of things I like:

I even went to Ikea yesterday to buy garden chairs that I'm not so sure I will have space for.
Oh well, they're stackable.  
Once I grow my social personality, I'm sure they'll come in use.


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I'm being followed

And there's no-one to help me once the chickens decide to attack

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Just keep walking

I have a wonderful new-ish colleague that seems to pull me along with his efficiency, good organisational skills and kindness. 
Today we had a long talk about me being overloaded and sort of clinging on for dear life as far as work is concerned. 
He gives good advice. 
I hope I can listen.

Then I also have the most wonderful husband that anyone could hope for. 
He gets up every morning, dressing and feeding Son#1 and Son#2, sometimes even Son#3 as well.
On top of his busy job, he's been keeping our house running smoothly this past year.
Love him dearly.  Dearly.

These last few weeks I've been having the same feelings that I had back in December:  That I am going to drown (literally) in my work. 
I have thoughts like:  If I can only make it until Tuesday, then I'll be o.k. 
But after Tuesday comes Friday, the weekend, Monday night etc. etc.

I've been navigating the rapids with work, health problems, hospital visits and the like, and I need calmer waters now. 
Luckily this academic quarter is almost over, my parents are almost here, and a new home waits for us to be moved into in 6 weeks' time. 

In the meantime, I walk to work every morning now, and it gives me time to think and put things into perspective. 

Just a few more weeks...
Just keep walking.



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Incy Wincy Spider

I love it when this side of the planet finally starts heating up again,

but I have to admit that I loathe all the spiders that seem to crawl out of all the nooks and crannies.

Everything with more legs than I have should bugger off!

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Lentil Soup

I have an almost Biblical love affair with lentils.  I consume it often.  In fact, whenever a recipe calls for minced beef, I use lentils as vegetarian substitute - with some success.

This lentil soup doesn't last long in our house, mostly because I keep 'tasting' it before we get a chance to eat it.

Great with garlic bread!

My  birthright   for  Lentils-soup!
Ingredients:

olive oil
3 stalks of celery, thinly sliced
1 medium onion, chopped
1 large clove of garlic, crushed
1 tsp ras-el-hanout (from Moroccan shop, if you can find it)*
1 sweet potato, peeled and chopped (don't skip the sweet potato - it really adds flavour)
1 potato, peeled and chopped
1 can of lentils (roughly 400gr)
1 can of white cannelini beans (roughly 400gr)
1 can of chopped tomatoes (roughly 400gr)
about 1 litre of water, more or less, depending on how thick you like your soup to be
2 stock cubes

Image:  lentilsouprecipe.com

Method:

In a heavy casserole, fry the celery and onion. 
When it starts to brown, add the garlic and fry for about 5 minutes.
Add the canned lentils, beans and tomatoes.
Add the water, stock cubes and ras-el-hanout.
(I've noticed there isn't much of a taste difference if you add the spices earlier or not)
Add the sweet potato and potato cubes.

Let it simmer for about 20 minutes.
Blend half of the soup with a hand-held blender.
Season to taste and enjoy!

* if you can't find ras-el-hanout, you can always use coriander, cinnamon, cumin, chilli, turmeric and cardemom.  Anything to add to the flavour!



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This Sunday

Have been procrastinating all weekend and today is D-day:  
I will have to finish all my work before 9 o' clock tomorrow morning. 

Wish I could post this notice though:

The husband and I watched Melancholia last night.  Great movie, but depressing as can be.
Inbetween Son#2 and Son#3's nighttime antics, I kept dreaming that the end of the world was nigh and how we were spending our last moments together.

Right now the sun is shining outside, Son#3 is playing peacefully, the husband is back in bed after letting me sleep a bit late. 
Son#1 and Son#2 are not fighting right now, miracles still happen.

Despite frazzled nerves and heart palpitations from all our stress,  I plan on having a lazy Sunday and being kind.  


Perhaps Ikea and building cities from Duplo blocks before the boys go to bed again tonight.  
Then, and only then, will I start my mammoth task of correcting about 40 reports.
Sigh.


Have a Super Sunday!


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Will he, won't he

Go into the little playhouse?

C'est Le Weekend: Mecca for all things Kitchen

After my grumpy mood of this morning, I thought a walk would cheer me up. 

And it did.

Walked to town, bought sandals for the boys, croissants, and went to browse in Dille & Kamille whilst Son#3 was snoozing.

It really is the most glorious kitchen shop.  They have everything from decorative items to kitchen utensils and gadgets and gardening things and books.  Glo-ri-ous.

Wish I could go live in one of their shops.  Just to play with all the things there.  Everything organised and functional and pretty.  

 

Instead a busy weekend lies ahead:

Clean the house

Chuck stuff away

Pack some boxes

Entertain kids

and

climb

a

small

mountain

of

work.

Oi vey.

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Feeling Grumpy

Feeling so grumpy today that even the birds' sweet song at 3 a.m. this morning annoyed the living crap out of me.

Snap out of it, Yo!

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Thursday afternoon

One ray of sunshine and the park is packed!

All the solar vultures are out in full force.

This includes us, of course yes.

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Gangster in Training

In the supermarket in Saint Chinian, the boys were allowed to choose a small (read:  cheap) toy.  Sort of bribery in return for good behaviour (our good parenting skills come shining through, I know, I know).   
Son#2 chose cheap army cars, Son#1, a gun. 

Please note the tattoos from chewing gum wrappers on his arms.  

He keeps telling us the more tattoos he has, the cooler he will be.  
He really is a little 6 year-old gangster now, the picture is complete.

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Spooky

Statue in the spooky park this morning.

The fog will swallow you whole if you're not careful

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Maritime Museum

This past weekend we went to Rotterdam with the pack of wild dogs, commonly known as our sons.  

We went to the Maritime Museum which was a lovely interlude in our otherwise boring weekend.  

Not that much to see - at least, we couldn't absorb much information as the natives were restless and running around the museum screaming and throwing tantrums.

They did however have a lovely play area on the roof with glorious views of the Rotterdam harbour and skyline. 

Kids were happy for about an hour and a half.  
Mum and Dad too.

Rotterdam has a special place in my heart.  
The people are quite friendly, about 50% of the inhabitants are foreigners just like me and Son#2 was born there.

Memories....  mmmmm.


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Sigh

Monday.  New week. 
Need I say more?

I started off well - I walked to work instead of driving.  It was actually nice to be outside, nice to start my working day like this, especially after clashes with Son#1 this morning.
I worry about him. 
He does not take well to instruction. 

Monday has been cancelled on account of disinterest

A day of meetings and administrative tasks. 

This afternoon I'll be walking home again, picking Son#1 and Son#2 up on the way. 
I hope everyone is feeling good and happy and cooperative...  


 
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Favourite polar bear

Francois Pompon's Polar Bear.

He waits for me in Middelheim.

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Cafe du Balcon

Cafe du Balcon in Saint Chinian.

They sell a drinkable red wine that packs a mean punch.

True to French cafe-style, they have bright fluorescent lights.  

Nothing cosy about the place, but the wine more than makes up for it.

 

I have to (Onion) Powder My Nose

Have been looking in various shops for onion powder, to no avail.  Finally the thought occurred to me that I might just be able to make it myself.  And it turned out to be easy as pie.

You'll need a few onions, sliced thinly, and an oven.  C'est tout!

Slice the onions very thinly, spread out over a baking sheet and pop it into the oven (100 - 140 degrees C) for about 2 hours.

When dried, remove from the oven, tip into a trusty pestle and mortar, and grind it baby!

Store in an airtight jar and add to soups etc.  Yum yum!

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C'est Le Weekend: Message on the Wall

My favourite gem in Breda.

Tucked away in a little alley on the side of a building in a scruffy street:

Dutch for 'Don't doubt'

Love it!

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Cardiologists & the things they say

Yesterday I got the results from the tilt table test.
My diagnosis is still the same:  Neurocardiogenic collapse.  
Not an awfully bad diagnosis, just one you can't do much about.
Except for support stockings (which are for very old ladies and is therefore an option I'm going to skip), and eating lots of salt (yay popcorn and chips!) and beta blockers.

One more sonar of my heart left to go, and then I am DONE with medical tests as far as I'm concerned.  Done and dusted for a loooooong time.


I'm looking forward to lots of things at the moment.
They are, in no particular order:

• Spring and Summer
• Moving to our new house 

 

• The end of this academic quarter with all its work and stress
• Working less for the final quarter of this year
• Having nothing to do
• Spending time with the husband instead of working every night
• Having my parents come to stay for 3 whole months!
• Packing and chucking things away

I'm also going to try and drop 5kg before we move.  THAT would make me feel fabulous.
Aaaaaaah.

The sun is shining outside and I feel peaceful.  
Priceless!

Crying

Everyone woke up crying this morning at 5h45.  This includes the husband and I.  Sigh. 

I feel like I'm losing touch with life itself - the husband and I shuffle past each other in the house, we have different sleeping patterns, different hours and (this irks me the most) different tasks that we have to do in order to keep our house and kids semi-running.  

I hate tasks.

Tasks include feeding kids, clothing kids, packing lunches for school, taking the various kids off to various schools, doing the laundry, packing and unpacking dishwashers, searching for clothes in laundry baskets that still-need-to-be-folded-sorted-and-packed-away. 
It also includes cleaning and cooking and vacuuming and paying bills.

What can I say...  
Domesticity is a drag.

In the background, the husband is fighting a losing battle with Son#2 who is picking a hole in his cheek after being bitten by a mosquito (and he is allergic to mosquito bites).  
Try getting a plaster on an irrate four-year-old's cheek.

This dear reader, is how we started our day.  

Let's hope we can culminate the day in a better way.

Crossing all fingers, toes and limbs.

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Countdown to New Home: 8 weeks to go!

I've packed 11 boxes so far.  That means that I have about a gazillion boxes left to pack before we get the keys to our new house.

Have I mentioned that I can't wait?  The space, ooooh the space...  Room enough for everyone and everything we would like to do.

I'm planning on starting up painting again.  Haven't done it in 5 years and it is time for my brain to Return To Creativity.

My favourite artist (without trying to sound all too pretentious and snobby because I really don't know much about art anymore):  Walter Battiss.  

This South African gem of a man created his own kingdom, Fook Island, declared his granddaughter Queen, printed his own currency and passport with which he travelled to New York in the seventies, exchanging currency for dollars and gaining entry into the United States.

Not so much a fan of his art as I am in awe of his mind.

My kind of guy.  
Live your own life.


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Break down

And let it all out...

Gotta Love Nina Simone.

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Missing France

Yet again a busy week ahead.

But this is really where I'd like to be.

It seems the one week smashes into the other

and the weekend is over before you notice.

Courage, Yo.  

Courage!

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C'est Le Weekend: Wake-up Call

There has been a death in the husband's family.  A loved uncle finally passed away on Saturday, the poor man struggled for a long time, and the cancer made him suffer terribly.
Sigh.

Someone's death always highlights the fact that one has to live fully - however cliched that might sound.  Cliches are cliches because they are true for the most part, aren't they?

After hearing this news, the husband and I have come to the conclusion that in order to live fully, we really need to find our feet and balance again. 
Yin and yang. 
It's fine if you have a job that doesn't exactly ring your bell, as long as you can balance it with something that you do feel fiery and passionate about. 
We need balance!!

Meanwhile the neurologist told me that there is something amiss with my central nervous system. 
Sigh. 
Some things you just have to accept and then shut up about.

Next week the cardiologist's visit looms, I don't really expect much other than the abovementioned news and the usual heart palpitations.

In the meantime, we're waking up to birdsong every morning, the earth is warming up again and things are coming to life. 
I'm having a good year in 2012, and it largely is a decision.


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Doomsday Version 1

A run-down of my day ahead:

At noon I hear the dreaded results of some of my tests at the neurologist.  Not looking forward to it at all.

Son#3 is sick, has been losing weight and has been running a fever almost every day for the past week. Doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.
Son#2 became hysterical this morning when I dropped him off at school, refusing to take his jacket off and crying that he doesn't want to go to school.

Sigh. 
This stress is slowly killing me (and I kid you not).  Life stress.

Guess the Descartes-reflex with regards to stress, hasn't quite worked out with me. 
I only realize too late that stress has engulfed me and it's already become a 'sink-or-swim'-situation.  No way back but forward.

Things at work are also complicated.  I guess I shouldn't have discussed my overflowing agenda with management. 
Oh well. 
Rather the current, complicated situation than feeling like a sucker and a slave.

All this might sound quite negative. 

The positives for today are that I haven't got any classes, can lounge on the internet at work (procrastination is my middle name and work can wait), I'm picking Son#3 up early, then Son#1 and Son#2, home, feet up, glass of wine, and tonight I'm helping a colleagues' son with his English which constitutes my good-deed-for-the-day. 

On Tuesday night I also went to a lecture on giftedness in children, and although we neither know nor really care whether Son#1 is gifted, it gave me quite some insight into how to help him be more understood and how we should love him.  That is also very positive.


After all this rambling and whining, I know that:  Everything is going to be all right.


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