Sssssssunday

We didn't get around to going to the beach yesterday.
Today is attempt #2.
The boys are wearing their swimsuits under their jeans and it's 9 degrees Celsius outside.
Oh well.
The good parents.

The husband went to a friend in Breda last night, stayed the night, and I snatched Son#1 from his bed at midnight to come and sleep with me.
I'm such a coward.
It's like an insurance policy:  I have to be brave with one of the kids there when I encounter spider or ghost waltzing around our home.   Can't send the boys in to fix the problem of spirit or spider like I do with the husband.

Today is sunny and I'm very grateful.
Son#1 is still Freaky, and now, at 10h30, we've already had about 4 skirmishes.
Oh, sorry, now 10h33 and we just had Skirmish number 5...

I'm just grateful for the sunshine, the husband and mild-mannered Son#3.
Son#2 and the cat are also doing okay today.


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Everybody

It seems like everyone is sick.
The husband's parents both have cancer, manageable forms for now, but still.
I don't want them to suffer - physically nor emotionally, and it tugs at my heart strings to think that they might. 
The father-in-law is starting with radiation on Monday.
Sigh.

I also desperately want to have a good weekend with the husband and beastly boys, perhaps even go to the beach this afternoon and sip hot chocolate while the boys run through the wind and sand.

The morning started well but Son#1 is being Freaky, Son#2 is being Obstinate, and I have to drag both Freaky and Obstinate to the hairdresser today and all of a sudden, I don't want to.
Anyway, I'm just feeling sorry for myself.  
Don't want it all to go pear-shaped.
I'll stop in a second. I promise.


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C'est Le Weekend: Give us a kiss

In need of some sweet love and affection.
Willing to give it too.
That's all I'm planning on doing and being this weekend.
Hope all that's good, comes your way too.

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The Buddha was a Wise man

Am trying my best to think good thoughts.

Also good thoughts about work and actually getting something done instead of wasting time on the internet every evening.

Could spend my time more wisely, I know.

Last night I sipped my wine and waited for the husband to finish his running.

He's so good, disciplined - I forget all my goals as soon as I see a bag of Liquorice Allsorts and a bottle of Wine (written with a Capital W as one should always, always respect wine).

I need to do better.

Do everything better.

And preferably, it has to be accomplished TODAY.

Because who the hell wants to wait or work for something?
And the sad part is that I KNOW that I have to both wait and work, and I'm trying my best to get my mind round to accepting that fact.
And I need to plan (properly, this time), how to do it all better.
It doesn't fall from the sky.
Why, I don't know, but it doesn't.

Sigh.

Double sigh.

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Ruptions

There has been conflict at the boys' school.
Some of the parents rallied against the teachers, the school's policies and the new headmaster.
One set of parents took their son, sniffing and crying, out of the school and swiftly enrolled him elsewhere. 
We're talking about first grade, for crying out loud...
Haven't begun with advanced algebra and syntax yet.
Still the Hold-Your-Scissors-Properly semester.

It's such a nice little school, I can't imagine what could be the problem...
All I do know, is that I don't want to be involved.
We're happy.
The boys are happy.
Nothing more to desire as far as schools are concerned.

 
 

Words to live by

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Installation Art

Or a mess?

Art is in the eye of the beholder.

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What if

The husband and I have been speculating.

What and who would we have been had we never gone down that rocky road to have kids?

Probably two quite happy alcoholics living on or close to a beach in Tarifa.

Doesn't sound too shabby to me. 

But I guess I'd miss the little buggers every now and then.

And Son#2 started cycling without training wheels yesterday, and to say that we are mighty proud is an understatement.  

Would gladly give up a beach in Tarifa in inebriated state, to witness this small miracle.

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Doing all manner of things

That I'm not supposed to.

But I get away with everything.

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Child Labour

And they love it.

Today an in-law family get-together and I have work to finish.

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C'est Le Weekend: Don't let it go, let it flow

The husband is inspired.
He went to a seminar on creativity last night while I had a heart-to-heart with Mr Stomach Bug.

We both have this urge to BE CREATIVE and I don't know if it's that midlife crisis talking, but it makes sense to me.
Every couple of years, this be-more-creative-with-your-life-thing hits me.

Today I'm off to run errands with Son#3 crying a lot as I type.
And tonight the boys and I have a party at Son#3's creche, where they all went, and to whom we might say goodbye in the near future as it's too far from home.
Sigh.

Have a good weekend.



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Dear Evolution, you are late

Living in our house is just like a relay race.
Just when we thought Calm and Peace had returned to our little corner of paradise, Son#1 handed over the Crazy-baton to Son#2. 

How proud we are.
At least they are sharing for a change.

He's throwing things, screaming, swearing and being uncooperative.
Come on!
Really.
What is wrong with our gene pool?

The husband and I couldn't possibly be related to each other as we are from opposite ends of the planet.
We both seem normal.
At least, I think we do.

Son#2 stayed home yesterday.
Think he is tired, and something, judging by his behaviour at least, is wrong.
He was a dried-out-desert as far as being toilet-trained is concerned, but we have been experiencing a wet season so far.

Why can't babies be born talking?
Would eliminate so many problems if we could just understand each other...
Evolution needs to catch up, if you ask me.


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Mary had a little lamb

And the emphasis being on 'had' because, 

hell, 

he was just too cute not to eat up in one, big gulp.

Son#1 has returned to Normal.

Praise all the lucky stars and deities.

Thankful, we are.

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It's only Tuesday

Where???

Why????

Sigh.

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Before I'm old

Monday again.
Have been running around at work since this morning, and now, at 14h00, I am finally taking a breather.

Yesterday we had such a nice day with my childhood friend that-just-happens-to-live-in-the-Netherlands-too, her husband and their daughters.
We scorched the meat on the overheated barbeque (my newly developed fire-lighting skills taken a bit too far - bonfires & barbeques are not the same thing), had salad with mustard leaves (word or warning:  it's awful; stick to normal salad types), and scoffed chocolate mousse, all while having relaxed conversations and sipping wine.

This week is busy but I feel calm and not as stressed.
Just have to mark some exams tonight, publish the results and then GO TO BED EARLY.
No reading until 3 a.m.

Am pooped from somewhat self-induced lack of sleep. 
Will need to rest.
Am starting to get hot flushes at night and this might signal exhaustion according to a colleague.
Or I'm menopausal.
And I seriously hope I am not. 

Must rest.
Before I'm old.


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Bless bless

The good husband let me sleep until 10 this morning.
Bless him and his cotton socks.
I woke in the night feeling so crappy and sick that I felt too crappy and sick to get up and actually do something about it.
This morning is better again.

Son#3 is under the weather, has taken to waking again during the night, and needs early morning naps.
Poor bunny, all of a sudden he is scared of everything.
Especially closed doors.

Today will be relaxing, if I can remember this, that is.
I'm off to look for a metal sheet for Son#1 and Son#2's room - I want to create a magnet wall for them.
Already bought the magnets.
Their room, like the rest of the house, needs sprucing up.
I'm taking a long-term view on this.
Energy and Time are short stocked at the moment, and we need to be frugal and clever in how we spend our time.

But Relaxing, remember?
Today will be relaxing.


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C'est Le Weekend: Cold

It's getting colder again and the days have become shorter very quickly over the last two weeks.

I have some kind of cold again after the husband and I walked all over Breda last night - may the gods bless the babysitter - we had dinner at the Greek and then went to the movies.
Dinner and a movie, aaaaaaaah bliss, although the movie was ultra-light entertainment.
Don't think they'll be winning any Oscars for it, but hey, just light is also fine.

Would love to crawl into bed and stay there all day, but the boys are not cooperating at all, so I will have to shelve that idea.

I'm still baking an apple pie with the boys a bit later on.
So much energy to scrape up from somewhere and no idea how I'm going to get that together.
Any ideas?


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He's baaaaaaack...

This gorgeous child has turned into Satan again.

He's like a spitting cobra, without two front teeth which I swear I haven't knocked out.

What pre-empted the Dark Knight to reappear is a mystery to me.
All I know is that he is Alive and Well and Living in our house.

All was calm and peaceful, loving even, for a couple of weeks, but then something has triggered this character change again, and I'm wracking my brains to think what could have caused it.
Days like these sincerely have me believing that we should seek help to aid our communication process with Son#1.
Days like these make me feel like the Crappiest Mother in the World.
I hope there isn't an actual award out there for this feat, and I hope no-one will think of nominating me for it.
I also hope the neighbours won't phone Child Welfare to report my bad parenting.

Future Son#1:  Forgive me for being an inadequate mother to you.  I tried my damndest to understand you, I really did.  
Sometimes I even succeeded. 
And I always, always loved you. 
Always will.

Sigh.
Deep sigh.


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Oh my

Quelle view!

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Going to see the doctor

My knee still hurts like hell from last week's fall, and has turned red and hot.
I had something different in mind when I wished I had hot knees.
Sigh.

I woke in the night to nightmares about 3 men and a woman who acted like Zombies.
The husband let them in (why??????) and then Son#2 hid behind a curtain, scared as can be.
I forced them out again, and woke up on the edge of starting to scream.
Quelle nuit.
What does it all mean??  Any ideas???


My sincere hope is that the doctor can fix my silly knee, and that work won't be overpopulated by Zombies today.
Sigh.
Some days just start that way.


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Who?

Who would do this?

It makes me sad seeing a rhino (Is it black?  White??  The good African speaks) with green horns.

Things should stay as they are.

(Except for my post-three-baby-body which will be whipped into shape by a skilled surgeon as soon as the Lottery finally deposits that rather large cheque into my bank account).

Yes-sirrrrreeeeeeeeee.

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WHEN I win the lottery

and not if,
which is anytime really soon, raking in the big bucks of-course-yes,

then I'm buying this Rietveld house in Rotterdam, smack bang in the centre of town.

Just a question of a short time, right Universe?

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Mmmmmm

Wouldn't that be lovely?

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Enjoying the sights and sounds

Don't worry.  

This is not a real person, just a statue, and I'm not (such) a sicko that I would photograph an-actual-person-pre-jump.
And there is no need to call the cops, because I have no plans to jump off buildings myself.  Really.
Luckily.

I need to start painting again.
Need it, like air.
I need an outlet of some sort, I guess.

The last part of this week, I've felt so lost and alone.
Quite sorry for the self.

But hey, I can make fire.
I can cook somewhat edible food.
Inflate my own tyres (as an elderly gentleman pointed out to me, he's never seen a woman do that before, and he's old - he should know, unless he has Alzheimer's and has forgotten it again, but I digress).

I am a self-contained woman.
Like a cockroach.
I can survive anything, and still smile about it. 
(and no, I don't know if cockroaches actually smile, but that I-can-survive-it-all thought must surely bring some joy?)

I just lack confidence and that is something I can work on, right? 
(Note to self:  Perhaps I should stop looking for validation all the time)


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C'est Le Weekend: Screwed/Unscrewed

It has been an interesting week so far.

I climbed the Andes at work this week, read books, cooked dinner, fell down bikes (often) and generally injured myself.
Even the boom at work fell on my car as I left the parking lot - accident #4 to one of our cars that we weren't even involved in...
In my fluster I signed the damage forms without thoroughly checking the car.
Oh well, will have to rectify that this morning if I still can.
First time I've ever had to do this.

Today it's the boys' sports day at school and I (idiot!!!  nitwit!!!!) volunteered to help.
Will have to limp all over the place with my shoddy knee and muscle-pained body.
The boys will be chuffed with me being there though.

Have this nagging fed-up feeling like my needs are being ignored and not met, and what those needs are exactly, I'm not sure, but everything feels 'wrong' at the moment.
Hopefully after the weekend, things will feel better.

Old friends from South Africa are coming over for a barbeque on Sunday, and I'm looking forward to that very much.

Today is just today, and tomorrow will have to take care of itself.
If only I can remember that. 

There is always wine (alcoholic, alcoholic)

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Wish

That's all for tonight.

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Baby

You and I go places together, don't we?
We even tumble over together.
Twice, in fact, on the bike.

My behind is blue from yesterday's fall.
My right knee is twice its normal size.
Everything hurts.
But luckily Son#3 is fine and that's all that matters.
Think I'm staying off two-wheeled modes of transport for a while.
Get over the shock.
Besides, I can't sit down.

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Following in my father's footsteps

Literally.

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Pioneer Woman Skill#42: Build a fire

And barbeque.

Am working on catching my own fish as well.

And that's about as far as this vegetarian will go.

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Music that makes me Sad and Happy

Perfect.

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Fifty Shades

So I also fell for the Fifty Shades-trilogy.

Let me issue a word of warning, though.
It's not literature.
It's not about the colour grey. 
Or paint. 

They have sex.
Lots of it.
(So much so that by Book 3, you start thinking, get a room, puuuuuhleeeease).

The author repeats the same descriptions.
(And again, when you get to Book 3, you wonder if she copied-and-pasted)

But it's light.
Entertaining.
And the author makes more than a million pounds per week from these books.

Lucky girl.

And not everything has to be serious in life, right?

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Rrrrotterdam

We never made it to Amsterdam.
It was just too damn far away.
First we all had tantrums.
Then, deciding that Amsterdam was too far, we chose Rotterdam instead (50% discount in travelled kilometers).

But, en route to Rotterdam, the husband failed to find his wallet and we had to turn back.
Delayed for another 30 minutes.

Son#3 bashed Son#1 in the car.
We stopped to change seats.
So I got bashed instead.

Finally in Rotterdam, we went to the museum of natural history (don't bother going, we were in and out within 30 minutes and the kids were told off not to run).  Humph.

So we walked through the park (which is just behind the hospital where Son#2 was born, Barbra Streisand's Memories coming to mind) to the Boijmans van Beuningen museum, loved it, just a pity that the husband had had his fill of the boys by then, and they wouldn't cooperate in return.

I'll go again one day.

On my own.
No tension but my own, thankyouverymuch.

Glorious cafe with views of gardens and fountains.
Sigh.
Simply lovely.

Back to the car, and home again.
Son#3 has become mobile, and boy oh boy but he is mobile.
Climbs stairs, onto chairs, tables, pulls everything off cupboards and shelves, demands a lot more attention.
So he's deposited in his playpen, and I'm drinking cider.
Not too shabby, darling.
The good, devoted, and sober mother.
Ha.


 

Humour needed

Thing#1 and Thing#2 took it into their heads this morning to get Thing#3 out of bed.  
I hadn't slept.
Again.

The switch-off-and-sleep-deeply mechanism has gone AWOL and I stray into the early hours of the morning, only managing to nod off at 2 or 3 in the morning.

Must be work stress????

Meanwhile, I need a babysitter. 
Desperately.
That whole balance between being Mother and being Partner is out of whack.
And I'd like to date the husband. 
I don't have to change his nappy (for a good 40 years, at least) and he does whine from time to time, but lesser so than the 3 gnomes in the house.

Today we're aiming for the Tropenmuseum in Amsterdam.

We'll have to leave early, but let's face it,  Thing#1 and Thing#2 made sure we were up bright and early.

Sigh.

(P.S.  I could add a cup of tea to that Irish proverb above.  Or Whiskey.  That also works.)

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