Man on a mission

Half a day:  That's what it took for me to turn into the Magnificent Monster Mother again. 

A world away we were relaxed, nice people, kind parents. 
One half day of work and all my good intentions were washed away. 

My poor Son#1:  The step from 'holiday' to 'back at school' was quite big for him yesterday.  When I picked him up, he started crying and said that his stomach hurt. 
Then he had a melt-down in the car on the way home, which resulted in me having a melt-down.
At home, he told me that he hated himself and even proceeded to draw a picture of himself which he crossed out.  My heart breaks.

Oldest children have a lot of incompetence to endure from their incapable parents. 
Sadly my actions and words don't always match my feelings of love for my children. 
Son#1 is such a fragile creature.  I really should remember the words 'handle with care' everytime I look at him. 

Sometimes it feels like I'm the only mother in the world that struggles with this parenting-thing.  It's lonely, I promise you.

A sleepless night later during which I vowed to be kind, patient, calm.  And so far, it has worked too.  One day at a time.

Son#2 started school officially today.  This morning he had a slight panic attack in the car, saying that he wants to go back to daycare, together with Son#3. 
Luckily a kind teacher took him by the hand and made him feel welcome.

This afternoon I'll pick up the boys and we'll go have ice cream.  Yum!


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