C'est Le Weekend: Rainy night in the Nether Lands

It's been a hectic week.

Lots of work and little sleep, but I'm not complaining.

The weather has finally turned from sunny and 24 degrees to very rainy and 14 degrees.

But I have a rare day alone at home, and I have cappuccino and sandwiches and a good book to enjoy.

And enjoying it I am.

Son#1 and Son#2 are at school, and Son#3 is at the creche for an extra day.

Today I won't do a dish in a sight, no laundry, just reading, sipping coffee, cooking my mother's delicious vegetable soup with lemon.

And I don't give a hoot.

The weekend looms and I have more work to finish before Monday, but that's o.k. too.  

I'm in a calm groove in my mind, and I plan on staying here a while.

Deeeeelicious.

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Don't tell the husband

But I'm getting seriously broody again.

Stop it, Yo!

STOP!!!

You can't keep having children into oblivion!

It has to stop sometime, you know.

 We're not even Catholic!!!!

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Taking a ride

 

And lookin' good!

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Glory

It comes in many flavours.

A colleague I have the utmost respect for, got thoroughly screwed at work.

I'm hoping he will stay on.

Would be so sad (and selfish of me, I know) if he left our organisation.

A new-ish colleague, one I helped appoint, has turned out to be a bit of a twat.

People call him all sorts of names behind his back, and I can't correct them and keep a straight face.

He takes credit for my work.

My hard work.

At the end of October, I get to go to England for a few days, with my respected colleague, and that feels good.

Will have to start starving myself, because I can just imagine how often I'll stop at a pie shop to buy curried vegetable pies, or cheese and onion pies or go to a night shop to buy salt & vinegar crisps.  Cider.

Aaaah.  Bliss.

I'm more excited about the food I'll get to stuff down my throat than the work or even learning something.

Meanwhile Son#2 was bitten by a mosquito again - Skeeter Syndrome =1, Son#2 =0,  and he's under the weather.  Poor bunny, think this new-school-thing is a lot to handle for his sensitive soul.

Glory in its many guises.

Today it's just Sunshine and Hollyhocks.

Glo-ri-ous.


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Longing for France

Wish wish wish we could go to France again.

I miss it.

Even Son#1 and Son#2's streaking in the French streets.

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Hey! You there!

 I'm just the cutest kid around!

 
It's a rainy weekend so far, and the natives are getting restless.
The good husband found an old laptop lying around that actually still works, and now Son#1 and Son#2 are both fixated, each to his own computer screen.

The weekend has been productive so far:  I've painted half the kitchen, and I went to the hairdresser with my birthday bucks and became blonde again.
Aaaahhhhh.
Relief.
Youth is still (a bit) on my side for now.


The morning started early.
Son#2 wakes up from rain and thunder, and the early hours of the morning had an ample supply of both.
The husband is sleeping late for a change and I'm getting breakfast ready for the three stooges.
I'm so pooped this morning that my eyes are burning.
 
Later on, we'll be driving to my in-laws, a 100 km away.
The husband's mother received good news (cancer free!) and we're going to go and celebrate it with them.
I'm hoping the sun will break through later on, so the Sons of Destruction can get rid of their excess energy outside.

Hope you will have a good Sunday, wherever you might be.


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Bruvvers

We actually like each other.
A lot.

We're just very, very good at hiding it. 

The weekend will be spent Chucking Stuff Away.
Ruthless being my new personality trait
(at least as far as stuff is concerned).

My great sadness this week has been the possible write-off of my little green car.
A woman dropped her phone in the car, bent down and drove, with some force and much noise, into my car.
At first sight, it seemed like only the wheel was damaged, but now it turns out that the axle has shifted, and my little green car is not worth that much, so the insurance might not pay.
I know it's just stuff, but I'm sad about it.  Really sad.
Luckily we weren't in it.
There are always things to be grateful for.
Meanwhile I'm crossing all fingers, toes and limbs that the insurance is willing to fix it.
Pleasepleasepleaseplease!

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C'est Le Weekend: Work work & other stuff

Aaaah.  Friday.
Pity I'll have to do some work this weekend, though.
Oh well.
Will stand me in good stead next week when I have to teach.
Won't regret it then.

What else lies ahead for us?
Visiting the in-laws.
Perhaps seeing a friend of mine.
Re-paint the kitchen and dining room.

I drove past our old house on Wednesday and saw that the new owners had had a baby - a girl called Mies, I like the name.
Son#3 and I went to buy Mies a cool t-shirt, and drove by to drop it off.
They were kind enough to let us in.

The new owners have done such a nice job of our old house.
It looks lovely.
Cool grey-blue accent walls, fresh white paint, sanded down & varnished parquet floor.
And the baby is too cute as well.  A button.


All inspired, I drove home, and promptly went to buy white paint to start painting out our house.
Any home is fresh and happy with a new coat of paint.
A new coat even works for me - it will work for a house too.

And as you know, Action is my middle name (hide the guffaws, please).


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Words to live by

Not shooting, means always missing the mark.

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How long

How long, Nelson,

will you be a part of our lives?

 You furry fink, 11 years old.

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Out of focus

Somewhere.

I have Kilimanjaro to climb at work this week.

New subjects that I know not enough of.

Old ones that have changed.

I have to read.

A lot.

And not Chaim Potok but theories and background information.

Better keep my marbles together in one bag, or I might just slip off the edge.

Quietly.


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Pet Hate

It has to be said:  I hate flies.
And having moved to a house situated practically next door to stables, well, you guessed it:  
We were asking, begging, for trouble.

My wrath is a hand-held electric bug zapper that lets the little bastards sizzle, not splat.
And when I feel especially murderous, I'll give them another jolt of electricity, and then another one.
Just to be sure that the miserable creature has gone on to the Other Side.

Each evening is spent awaiting their kamikaze attacks.
And as soon as I've fried one's buzzy behind, another will appear to torture me.
It never ends.

And so, dear reader, we begin our Monday.
Again. 


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Sunday is a scorcher

It's very hot.

Very.  Hot.

Yesterday was 33 degrees in the shade and coupled with being quite sick, not a good experience.

It's also tough to be a mother or a wife.  Even tougher being both.

You never get to just BE SICK and pass that Caring-stick on to someone else.

It just adds to the worries and load that you already carry.

Always.

Even in my feverish delirium, whilst looking after Son#3, I actually washed a kitchen floor and stairs and finished Chaim Potok's 'The Chosen'.  

All with the help of my little friend, Paracetomol. 

I know, I know.

I have 'sucker for punishment' written all over me.

I'm just tired of wading through the debris from the tsunami of individual moods in our house.
Sigh.

Think good thoughts, Yo.

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I have the 'flu

With a capital F.

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C'est Le Weekend: Bounty

A week of ups and downs has almost passed.

The downs were:

• stressed kids and stressed parents because of new school
• a lot of crying due to abovementioned stress
• having to start work again
• Son#1 had a hysterical meltdown this morning because he broke all his school supplies.  Sigh.  Guess all his savings and pocket money will be footing the bill, won't it?  Sayonara money!

 The ups were:

• Son#1 and Son#2 have both made friends - I even managed to fob both boys off to unsuspecting parents for impromptu playdates
• Son#1 is in his element at school, although Son#2 still cries a lot but he must be exhausted from all things new
• Work started again officially today and it was o.k. - I'm teaching a new course as well this year, and it's interesting (now just to get rid of the rest of the boring stuff)
• I lost a full, round 2 kg from eating WELL (a.k.a. fruit detox) and actually enjoy eating only fruit during the day
• I had enough energy to clean the playroom last night (and trust me, energy doesn't come round my way very often - have to grab it when it does)

All in all, the good outweighs the bad - as it should in life.

 

After all, that's the way it goes in fairy tales, you know.


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Do you see what I see

Scary.

Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to work I go.

Sigh

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It's my party

Oooooh dear.
Today I'm 38 years old.
Or young, depending on your perspective.
The husband's idea of photoshop (a.k.a. out of focus):

Sigh.
Wish everyone could be far-sighted.

I was woken in bed with fruit salad, being on a fruit detox for the last few days, and some tea, drawings from the boys, the promise of a new bookcase from the husband, and a DVD-player that can connect to our TV set (think the husband wrapped it as an afterthought, but o.k., it comes from a very good heart and is supposedly mine).

Then we sort of freaked out with the boys - all 3 crying.
Son#1 had a temper issue.
Son#2 scraped the tip off his big toe last night and pulled off what-was-left-of-the-tip when he took off the plaster (I know, way too graphic).  Blood and gore.
Son#3 is upset for an as-yet-to-be-understood-problem, but I gave him paracetomol anyway. 
Just covering all our bases.

We went to school on the bikes, and it was lovely.
Who cares if you're far too late for school if you can ride through the countryside, see cows and horses and sheep, on your way there?

 It's going to be a hot day, rain tonight.
Am taking the boys to an indoor play hall this afternoon as a special treat.
But it will be all good.


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Mine

This apple, growing on my tree, is mine, all mine.

I'm home alone today, with the boys at the new school and Son#3 at daycare.
The emotions in the house are running haywire, but that was to be expected with new schools and faces and houses.

Strangely enough, I actually miss my criminal Sons#1 and 2.
Having had them with me through the summer, and now being separated from them, the house feels empty.
My time feels empty.
Work will start later again this week and will surely put an end to empty time (unfortunately).

Today I'm enjoying my abovementioned apple, cleaning this rubbish dump which has become our home, and perhaps having a cup of tea or ten.
Tea fixes everything.
 
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New School Year

Son#1 and Son#2 are starting at their new school this morning. 

It's been a long time coming.

Poor Son#1 couldn't sleep last night, his whole body wracked with shivers and crying inconsolably.

Poor bunny.

Eventually the two of us ended up watching Yogi Bear (The movie) in bed together, until we finally fell asleep at 21h30. 

We're all a ball of frazzled nerves this morning.

Everything will be allright, in the end, I'm sure.

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What it is

It is an impromptu barbecue

It's a picnic

It's a bike ride

It's sunshine

It's Limoncello

A semi-baby bird that seems to like our garden and has yet to learn to fear our evil cat

And a freaky hairy flower of some sorts

That made Saturday a good day.
And so far, Sunday looks promising.


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Don't mess with me, buddy-old-pal

This is what happens to crappy little caterpillars munching their way through my broccoli and cauliflower.

Bit of boiling water will quickly fix that gluttonous disposition.

Be warned.

And warn your friends too.

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Limitations in life

It just struck me again last night, how each one of us is responsible for our own happiness, and how I can't do a damn thing to make anybody content in this world, let alone making them happy in any way.

Happiness is not really elusive at all.  
I'm starting to really believe, be convinced by, the fact that it is a choice, a state of mind that we can all tap into when we decide to do so.

And the first step towards true happiness must surely be contentment, or perhaps it is the last?  The jury is still out on this.
Contentment has to be Maslow's last step:  self-fulfillment.  If you are content, you must be self-fulfilled.

But at the end of the day, we all row our own canoe, and there is not a person in this world we can blame if our lives don't end up the way we want them to be.

We were present all along.

 
Paddle your own canoe. 
Don't forget.


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C'est Le Weekend: Day on the beach

Dearest Summer, please come and stay for a while longer?

This weekend we are visiting the in-laws who are staying at a hotel at the coast.
Will do the boys some good to run around and dig in the sand, and it will do me some good as well - help clear my mind of all my stress before work and school starts again this coming week.

My mother is having a small operation to her shoulder this morning.

Don't die on me, mom.

First thing this morning is driving to Belgium to buy my Bonanza Prize-Winning Lottery Ticket.  
This is the big one - and it is mine, all mine.


Hope you have a great weekend, wherever you might be.

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Ouch

I only have myself to blame then, after all.

Sigh.

Pull your socks up, Yo!

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Gluttony

Snails

Love

Hydrangeas.

I'll let you live today, just because I slept well and it is a beautiful morning.

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Cool

I've signed up for a free (and I love free stuff...) course in Statistics on Coursera, taught by Princeton University (how prestigious).

It's starting in September!

I love learning new things!

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Legal Eagle

This morning, I succeeded in passing my driver's license examination after driving around all over Europe with my South African license for the last 12 years or so.

Relief!

Joy!
Elation!

Done and dusted!
Yahooooooo!

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End of my rope

Or should I call that a noose?
Today, I finally reached my enough-level with the kids' behaviour.
An oeuf is an oeuf, you know?

We took the train to Rotterdam instead of the bus.
Son#1 complained loudly that I had bought nothing to drink or eat for the train, and wouldn't snap out of his annoyance.

We got off at Rotterdam Blaak, smack-bang in the centre of a busy market, and walked to the Selexyz (which happens to have an excellent English literature-section and Bagels & Beans, where we had a small lunch).

Son#1 was grumpy most of the time, and I lost my temper, publicly, a few times.
Son#2, albeit enthusiastic, ran off in all directions which makes me nervous.
Like the pigs in Palestine, I'll tell you, but actually, those pigs have nothing on Son#1 and Son#2.

After the bookshop, we walked to the Maritime Museum, where we'd been before.
They've changed the play-area on the roof quite considerably, and the boys spent a good hour and a half playing their hearts out.

The mother who sat next to me, told her son to stop playing with Son#2, not knowing that I was his mother.  Why?  Did I miss something vital here?  Surely only I perceive them as busy and out of control?

All in all, it wasn't a good day. 
The conflict with Son#1 makes me sad and unhappy.
I'm actually glad that the schools are starting next week again, even if it means that my hellishly-paced job also starts again.
I'm hoping that I can keep my cool with the boys this week.
We need to smooth this over and sail through the squalls.
My solace for today was buying 2 books by Chaim Potok with my last money, 'The Chosen' and 'My name is Asher Lev', being in my read-everything-and-anything-on-Hasidism-phase.

Something to occupy a busy mind.


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I guess

The Sons of Destruction would really really like to take the bus somewhere today.

I guess that's what we'll end up doing then.

(a.k.a. I'm running out of entertainment ideas)

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Between Two Worlds (or three, or four...)

We are in the middle, in many ways.
Middle of our lives (I hope not the end), we live in the middle of nowhere which is just fine right now, plus a midlife crisis or two.
We are also at the mid point between my parents leaving and schools and work starting again next week.

Grabbing every opportunity to make a fresh start, I'm using the academic year that starts again on August 13th.

First of all, I need to study.  NEED.
Not sure what yet, but study this academic year, I will.
Sociology or Psychology.  I've narrowed it down a bit.
Psychology will offer more work in the long run, but Sociology rings my bell more.

Need to get my health issues sorted.
As if the gods were on my side, I found an England-trained GP in the next village.
Perhaps she won't think of my use of emotional words a sure indicator of some mental illness, as most GPs here can't handle emotion.  (God Forbid!!  Sacrilege!!!!  Humans with emotion???  Unheard of!!)

And I'm getting all the administrative loose-ends of our lives sorted, a.s.a.p.
I will have chaos no more.

In the meantime, it's Monday and I'm down one kid (Son#3 is at the creche).
It's going to be a good week.


I'm realistic,  remember?  I expect miracles.
Good ones.
 

The country life

This week we found a mouse who had met its Maker by the back door, we think a special gift from Nelson, our cat. 
Then this morning the boys found a large spider inbetween the Playmobil toys, and luckily the husband was just walking out the gate and came back to rescue us, as I don't enjoy the company of spiders in general.
Roughly the size of a lentil I can handle, if they're bigger, I scram.
In fact, a rule of thumb is anything that walks on more legs than I do, should stay away from me at all times.

And just now the boys found a dead sparrow by the soccer goal, poor thing.  
Rigor Mortis hadn't set in yet, had to dump his lifeless body in the rubbish bin.  
Feel quite bad about that, but can't risk digging holes to bury dead birds and only have them  dug up again by cats or children.

We live in interesting times.


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C'est Le Weekend: I love myself

This past week, with my parents having gone back to South Africa, and me losing a large part of my personal cheering squad, it dawned on me that I had to accept myself.
Cellulite and all.

Easier said than done.

I'm trying to change how I think about myself - I have a niggling feeling that I might be responsible for all my health problems - how I think about myself and look at my life and the things I've achieved (or not).   
Because, really, I don't like myself an awful lot.

I tend to put others' needs before my own, will deny myself a helluvalot in order to be liked and thought of as a 'nice person'.
This is all very fine and well if you are Mother Teresa, but not if you are your common & garden variety person and if you have some clear issues with setting boundaries.

I also saw an interview with Anita Moorjani and how she recovered from cancer (and before her diagnosis, she did pretty much all the same things as I do) and her insights into why she got it in the first place.

Before you think I'm a Purple-Clad Dipstick,  with airy-fairy ideas about the world and the universe, I must assure you that I'm pretty normal [boring].  

But I can't help but think that what Henry Ford said is true:  
Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can't, you're right - and therefore how our thoughts and beliefs shape our worlds.  

I love myself.
I'm just fine.
My large thighs cast the most wonderful shade on a hot, sunny day. 
But they're beautiful and serve me well and I adore them.
And that's the bloody truth!

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The month of living frugally

Blast the blooming tax department:  I have to donate my entire salary this month to pay taxes, and I hate (fire, brimstone, rolling thunder and lightning) paying taxes.

How on earth will I feed us all?  Ferry us around between work and schools and creches?
I don't know.
I just don't know.

May the gods bless Ikea and its free coffee and one-hour-childcare.
If we have nowhere else to go, then Ikea always welcomes us.

What I do know, is that we'll be slimming down our food budget for the coming month - lots of stuffed tomatoes, soup and jacket potatoes.  
Less meat for the carnivores.
Nice 'n  Cheap.
I like it already.

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Flex those muscles!

You can do it, Superman!

(Even if you're too scared - of what?? - to go play alone outside without Mommy)

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Gratitude

Have been thinking of all the things that I can be grateful for.
It is exercise.
Hard training.
But it can be done.

I am grateful for:  the healthy husband, kiddies (bar Son#3 who has a stomach bug), parents, a house that we can still afford, food to gobble every day, sufficient money in the bank, jobs that supply aforementioned money, prospects, choices, and freedom.

Freedom is important.
Am working on my own health-issues.

Last night I sat listening to Laura Marling thinking about all the things that I have and others might not.  

It's all a merry go round:  I might have something you don't have, and you might have something that I long for.
And the things that I crave are a healthy body and a peaceful mind and my family in South Africa closer to me, energy to get through each day that is sadly lacking right now, to have days with no pain, and time to work a bit on my dreams.
And I want my husband, kiddies, parents, brother and his family to be healthy, safe, happy, to live a good, long life. I want that for myself too.

I wish these things for you too, dear reader, because we really ought to be kinder to each other in this sometimes nasty, cut-throat world.
If every person was just kind to his neighbour, then that would be a good place to start, wouldn't it?


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