As Nike said (just do it)

Mom & Dad:

Son#3 and I are arriving on Friday 8 February at 12h50.

Can't wait!

Full steam ahead

I don't feel like wallowing in all that is shitty in our lives today.
We have a lot to be grateful for, and that has to be said.

There are many aspects of our lives that we cannot control, and that lack of power to choose is sometimes suffocating and paralysing.
Actually, not sometimes - most of the time would be more accurate.

I've been having a helluva time with my fibromyalgia lately, and sleep eludes me without drugs and wine (I know:  alcoholic, alcoholic, alcoholic....).
My arms and hands have started tingling at night in bed, which shoos sleep even further out the door.
So I went to see the doctor this morning, hoping to manage my pain and lack of sleep a bit better.

The verdict:  Stress is the enemy.
My neck and shoulders are so stiff that it is affecting the nerves that run from my neck and shoulders down into my fingertips.
I got painkillers and sleeping tablets for the short-term, and a referral to a psychosomatic physiotherapist for the long-term.
Methinks I have a good new doctor.

And it has been a shitty year.
My dad got sick.  
We moved house.  
The husband had an operation.  
I was overloaded with work.  
We have a young family and aren't natural parents.
Little sleep was ours to be had.

(there I go wallowing again... but now it's done)

But we also had great things happen.
We're all alive and fairly well.
We live in a beautiful house in a beautiful part of the country (and in my homesickness, I never thought I would be able to find anything beautiful about the Netherlands and my life here)
My parents got to spend 3 months with us.
The kids are sleeping through the night.
The husband and I went to Paris and Amsterdam.
We have lots of wood, lots of wine, lots of books.
And we have each other.

I don't have many things that I want to change this coming year.
And while I'm mullling about what my goals are to be in 2013 (because one should have goals, you know), I can say one thing:

This year I would like to accomplish all I set out to do, because I refuse to have those same goals again for 2014.


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Warm Feelings

Bless my mostly monstrous children for letting us sleep until 9h30 this morning.
I. Cannot. Believe. It. 
May the gods bless the TV that entertained them until then.

They didn't even raid the cookie jar or watch porn as I feared they might.
This morning we had a civilized breakfast together.
Sigh.

The first part of the holiday is done and dusted and on Tuesday I'll have to start working again (even though I also still have Christmas Holiday then) if I want to manage to catch up on my backlog of (barf barf) work.

January will be busy again - lots of meetings with students loom, I'm going away on an Ethics course for 2 days, then a team weekend in Belgium that sounded nice at the time but now doesn't sound too flash anymore.  And preparing for the third quarter...
Sigh.

Not sure how long I can keep up this pace.
Come on, Lottery. 
Be ours.
We'll love you - fervently - I promise.


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I miss June

When it was summer.

I miss my mom and dad.

We spent a wonderful day at Middelheim, close to Antwerp.

Drank wine and beer and coffee and admired Son#3 in front of an old mini castle.

The sun shone.

Life was busy but uncomplicated.

Not so scary.

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C'est Le Weekend: Medicine for Big Mouths

I am busy concocting a concoction that is sure to teach Thing#1 and Thing#2 to use nice words when speaking to us.

I will be telling them that I got it from the doctor, and every time a child says something naughty to either of his parents, he should then take a spoonful of this mixture.

So far the ingredients are:

• Lemon Juice
• Black Pepper
• Cinnamon
• Ginger
• Turmeric
• Bit of olive oil just to make it even more disgusting.

Of course these ingredients all have some kind of nutritional value.
Better than Ritalin, right?

It even has a label, with instructions for use, just to make it more official-looking.

Sigh.
Something must be done.
The Silly Season has given way to parental abuse and I've taken about all I can in the line of having insults slung to my head and being punched by midgets.

We need a holiday from the holiday.


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Impressions of Christmas

They came, they saw, they conquered.
The in-laws were here for Christmas dinner, sans my sister-in-law and nephew. 
The nephew had a stomach bug for which I'm very grateful to him for keeping it to himself.

We cooked pork for the meat-eaters, mushrooms for me, baked potatoes, asparagus and ate ice cream.
The mother-in-law helped with Satan and his Cohorts and washed dishes.
It was cozy and unpretentious.

After everyone had left, the husband and I sat up finishing off the wine (mistake) and sipping Cuarenta Y Tres (bigger mistake) and paid dearly for it on Boxing Day.

Today friends of the husband are coming over, and tomorrow we have doctor's visits for myself, the husband and Son#2.

Other than that, life is simple.
And that's good. 


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Right on, Liz

Pour yourself a drink,

put on some lipstick,

and pull yourself together.

- Liz Taylor

It's Sunday so it must be the truth

And I share this perspective.

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C'est Le Weekend: We've made it

Here to attest:

We survived Doomsday and lived to tell the tale.

What a boring story.

Nothing happened.

Except the usual school-run, screaming kids, and tiredness.

But we did get wood.

Lots of wood.

For cozy fires when the kids have gone off to sleep.

Now to only fill the cellar with wine, and the picture will be complete.

Oh for the simple life.

The end is nigh

Just covering all my bases here.

In case the world ends tomorrow, hope you had a good life.

And if there is a world after this one, that it is a good place.

(and that we all get to be a part of that)

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Thank the gods for sleep

Wise words:

When you're in a hole, stop digging.

(But I can also add:  Drink wine, take painkillers and melatonin, and go to bed at 20h00).

Works wonders for bad moods and bad mothering.
The husband even said he was worried I wasn't breathing anymore last night - I was sleeping that soundly.
Aaaaah, I love drugs.

Today is the last day of Hell Week at work.
So far so good.
All sick children and their parents were sent to school.
It's every man for himself today, and I can't afford to stay home with Son#2.
Besides, if he has enough energy to be as naughty as he is at the moment, he has enough energy to survive a day at school.

Tonight Son#1 has a school play (and he is very very nervous), and the husband gets to watch it as we couldn't find a babysitter.
Am still trying to find one.
Sigh.
Perhaps this weekend.

My dad started radiation this week.
Even got a tattoo on his spine (which I'm sure you've always wanted, hey Dad?)
And I'm planning a trip to South Africa in February to see the old farts.
Sun and fervent love, that's what I'm look forward to.


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P.S.

Son#2 has bronchitis (but actually pneumonia, except that he doesn't have fever yet).

Sigh.

Another week of antibiotics and a mother that can take no more stress.

No more.

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Lift-off

I have survived the week so far.
I almost can't believe how I did it, how I let go and let the chips fall where they would.
It has been, and still is, hell-week.

Today Son#2 must go to the doctor.
He has a swollen finger and bad asthma.
Not to mention the Tourette's syndrome (swearing at mummy) and the general bad attitude.
Sigh.

Tomorrow: my last day of teaching before the world ends on Friday.
I asked my students what they'd like to do before the world ends, and the two things that were mentioned in all my classes were having sex and sleeping.
Guess they have their priorities straight.

Apparently in 1522, a whale stranded on the Dutch coast, and Martin Luther, that stoic old Protestant, saw it as a sign that the end of the world was nigh.

Well, lo and behold, last week a whale also stranded on the Dutch coast, and with the end of the world predicted for Friday, I'm getting nervous.

Am putting off all worries, cleaning, laundry and my backlog of work until Saturday, when we should be in the clear.
As should you. 


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I hold dear

All of these.


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Wintry Sunsets

From our bathroom window.

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Playmobil meets the Holy Family

And they're o.k. with that, it seems.
Everyone loves a surfer, you know.

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Shall I, shan't I

One of my many degrees, started and never completed looms on the horizon.
Shall I enrol and complete it?

I have a tendency to:
a)  start something and not finish
b)  get hysterical this time of year
c)  doubt myself and all my decisions

What do you think?
I love studying.
It'll get me off those god-awful romance novels for a while.
Stimulate my mind and keep Alzheimer's at bay a bit longer.
Perhaps make me feel freaking fantastic if I finish it.
That's what I'm aiming for.

I don't know.
I just don't know.

Don't want to waste precious money.
Sigh.
Please, universe, just decide for me.


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Hitchcock's Birds

Have been gathering behind our house in the fields all week.

Apparently our little spot in the Netherlands is where they come to spend the winter.

Their 'summer vacation'.

Strange strange strange.

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C'est Le Weekend: Just be simple

Maak ons eenvoudig

soos hulle wat naby die aarde staan,

die sterre sien,

die winde hoor,

en glo.

Make us simple

as those who stand close to the earth,

seeing the stars,

hearing the winds,

and believe.

- Ernst van Heerden

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Guide to writing Romance Novels

Seeing as I have considerable experience in Romance Novels (hide the intellectual guffaws, please, I have feelings too) by now, I've made a guide for any aspiring romance novelists out there.

You will need:

1. A heroine.  She must have a bold streak, be defiant, have big boobs and a small waist, be a beauty, albeit in her own way, come from money or secret money or money unknown to her.  Has to be a virgin.  Even if married before.  (I know... what the hell???)

2.  A hero.  He must be tall, blond or dark, exceptionally handsome, must have a broad chest and well-defined muscles, must be a man of influence, others look up to him for decision-making, has money and ample power, usually a castle and large entourage.  The hero is never short, round or puny. 

3.  A timeframe.  This is either the Dark Ages, The Middle Ages, or The Renaissance up to the 1880s, sometimes modern day mixed with fantasy (but that's not that generally that good).

4.  A setting.  Includes grand property of some sort.  Horses are always in the picture.  Servants galore.  Country homes and travel are often a feature.  Traveling is almost never safe.

5.  A crisis or twenty.  There is always a mean woman in the picture, generally jealous.  A threat to either the hero or heroine's life.  There is always revenge in one of its guises. 

6.  Some resistance.  Either on the part of the hero or heroine.  The heroine generally can't believe that she is loved. (Oh ye women of little self-confidence), the man had other plans.

There you have it.
In a nutshell.
Now go forth and scribble!


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Chin chin

But I suppose they both serve their purpose, don't they?.

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Pneumoniac

Son#3 now has pneumonia.
I took him to the hospital last night as the husband and I didn't think it was going all too grand.  Poor thing was breathing shallowly and just looking dreadful.

A round of antibiotics for Son#3 should have him right as rain again by Thursday.
Meanwhile the husband and I are drowning - fast - in stress and work.
Come on Christmas Holiday, we can wait no more.



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Sick Boy

Son#3 has a 40 degree fever.
The poor bunny is flushed and whimpering.
Praise the stars for paracetomol to ease his discomfort.

So far, the weekend has brought lots of conflict with Son#1 and Son#2 who keep beating the living crap out of each other and defying all rules and instructions at every turn.
The husband is sick and tired, and frankly, so am I.
Especially Son#2, a.k.a. Son of Satan, is testing patience left, right and center.
Wish we could have a night out to recharge marital batteries and not hear No!! at every turn.
Will endeavour to find a good, competent babysitter this week.

If Son#3 is up to it, we'll try to go to a museum this morning, as being out and about in public is better for the kids as:
a) we can't jump down their throats all the time, and
b) being cooped up together for an entire weekend is like a Social Experiment Gone Wrong. 

Yawn.
Sigh.
Exasperation.


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C'est Le Weekend: Snow Drifts

This morning we, once again, woke with everything blanketed in snow.
Lovely.
We're expecting at least 20 cm of snow today.
Blimey.
 I even hung the winter curtains this morning - just to get into the swing of things.
Never in my wildest dreams did I, South African from the warmer Indian Ocean coast, think I would ever have to hang winter curtains.
But I like it.

 
Meanwhile, work and its stresses and worries about my dad are getting to me.  
I wish we had worry-free years ahead.
But cancer is like that:  It scares the bejesus out of you.
Glad my dad is of a stronger ilk, and he's a fighter.
Proud to be his daughter.
To be calling him my dad.

Have a good, warm, sunny weekend.


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I love Albert

 

The highest knowledge is to know that we are surrounded by mystery.

Right on, Albert Schweitzer.

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Snow

It's here already.

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Music

I'm thoroughly convinced that any form of creating, and art, somehow must have some godly source.
Why else would it be enjoyable?

Yesterday, my in-laws and I went to the little Protestant church built in 1639 (I mean, really, it's before South Africa was even colonized), and listened to a Slavic choir.
Rich timbres gave way to a meditative moment for me.
I could sit, listen, and lose myself.

My mother-in-law was convinced that I was the most beautiful woman there, which only goes to show that she is:
a) senile
b) blind, and
c) she must love me an awful lot to say something like that.

We went home at 5, then made soup, drank our plum gin that we made back in July, and bid them farewell, only to enter The Night Of No Sleep, during which Son#2 came down with some kind of stomach bug and I only went to bed at 6h15 this morning.
Sigh.

Son#2 is staying home.
I'm staying home, this morning at least, until the husband will come home and take over so I can go teach my classes for the day.
Did I mention that mountain of work?
Still there, I'm afraid.
And, I'm thoroughly unprepared for the day.
Thoroughly.

Spreading

I never did get around to working (so far) this weekend.
Bit of flu got in the way and I spent most of yesterday in bed.

Wouldn't mind a bit more of that today, except that the in-laws are coming and then I will join them for a Slavic choir performance right here in our eeny meeny town.
Tonight we're feeding them soup and sausage rolls.
Sounds easy enough to me.

Let's hope we all survive this day as I'm in a crummy mood, Son#3 cries non-stop and I feel stressedstressedstressed and ready to swipe at whoever comes a bit too near.
Double exasperated sigh.


 
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My tea is talking to me

Today I'm listening.

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C'est Le Weekend: Backs against the squalls

Another weekend dawns.
I'll have to work.
As in really have to work.

Am seriously considering breaking one of my limbs in order to get out of work this coming week.
It's just too much.

Son#3 has been crying all morning and I feel like joining him.
Wish we could fly off to South Africa today and be with my parents.

Chin up, Yo.
Chin up. 

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Thunderous

I swore that tonight was the night that I would be telling my colleague-whose-son-I've-been-tutoring-for-free that I intend to QUIT, and now she's thwarted my plans by asking if he could come during the day - at work!!! - instead.

Sigh.

It's hard being a softie and a sucker, I'll tell you.

I have so much work that I need to get done that I might just as well burst into tears. 
Because that's what I want to do.
I don't like this adult life.
This you-need-to-work-in-order-to-eat life. 
This you-need-to-clear-the-dishwasher-or-nobody-else-will-do-it crap.
I don't like it one bit.

And I have to be honest (because on a semi-anonymous blog you can be honest, I think), that I want to be taken care of right now.
Coddled.
Pacified.
I shouldn't be in charge of anything in my present state of mind. 
Not a single decision, no child, and not myself.
Not even a what-the-hell-should-we-eat-tonight decision should be left in my care.

Sigh.

Sigh sigh sigh.


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Muhammad!

My new hero.

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I love changing seasons

 

Be-a-u-tiful!

Happy anniversary old farts!

My parents have stuck it out together for 41 years!

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Monday blows in

It will be a busy week.
I have work and extra lessons and saying farewell to one of the teachers at Son#3's daycare.
Will only be home by 9 p.m. I think.
My dad is getting test results.
Sigh.

This past weekend I discovered Skype thanks to my dad's insistence and the husband's capabilities in all things technical.
It's a free miracle.
All we need now is a webcam so the old farts in South Africa can see them grandkids.
Even Son#3 loves it.  
Excuse the blurry image, but he moves too fast.
My techno-boffin.

This has so far been The Year of Technology.
Tablets.
A new smartphone (still can't figure out what makes it smart, but O.k.)
Ereaders.
Skype.

Towards Progress!
In all things!


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C'est Le Weekend: Happier now

It' been a harrowing week that has left our little family shell-shocked and bruised.
My dad is back home from the hospital!
Yay! 

The autumn storms seem to have come quite late this year, and the wind is howling outside as I write.
Don't think the kiddies will be outside much today.
Damn.

Meanwhile I'm having to give all my savings to the Tax Man again, and I mean, all my savings.
Leaves little room for any free financial movement or luxury this close to the Festive Season.
Oh well.
Spent last night making an inventory of all the food we have in the house and I can safely say that we have most things to feed us all the way into the new year.
Gotta love hoarding of food.
All I'll need is bread, milk, and fresh fruit and veg.
Won't be all that bad (I think).

Today we're off to see the in-laws, and I still have an entire course to put together, compile a manual and powerpoints, and all before tomorrow morning!!!
Hysteria!!!
Hysterical laughter!!!!!!!


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Truth be told

Cancer is the looking glass that reveals

exactly who and what is really important in your life.

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Put your boxing gloves on, Daddy-O!

Life is a gamble.

You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day.

Same with fighters:  some die, some get hurt, some go on.

You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you.

 

 

 

- Muhammad Ali

 

 

 

 

Reverence for Life

And being humble in the face of it.

Hang in there, you old fart

My wonderful dad is in hospital.

I worry from afar.

And wish that I was there.

Important Words to live by

Careful for the emptiness

of a too busy life.

I don't know who said this.
It doesn't matter, really.

Truer words were never spoken.

Thanks for remembering it, Mom.

Ready to pounce

Them damn kids.
Yesterday saw the arrival of Sinterklaas again in the Netherlands.
Replete with steamboat and an army of Zwarte Pieten, remainders of the Moors in Spain.

We watched it together, me shouting enthusiastically everytime Sinterklaas popped onto the screen.
Son#1 has started to doubt his existence from under his blanket on the couch.
I would simply love to perpetuate the lie for the time being, as it enforces good behaviour and gives me something to bargain with.  
Sigh. 

The husband and I wrapped all the little gifts that the Pieten would be depositing through the fireplace in the coming weeks, left one in each child's shoe, had wine, and plonked in front of the fire.

We went to bed at 23h00, hoping for a good night's sleep.

Rude awakenings followed at 3.  
Lasted until 5.
Then again at 5h45, just as I nodded off again.
Then some shouting to go back to bed as all hope felt lost for getting any sleep whatsoever.
The husband finally gave up and got up.

Just relieved him from his post.
The boys are all chuffed with chocolate initials and free Lego catalogues I got at the toy store.

We'll all be taking a nap this afternoon.
We go through this every year.

Sigh.

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Sick bunny

My poor Son#1 has a bad case of the flu.
Literally within an hour or two, he was sporting a 39 degree fever and a massive headache.
Fears of meningitis surfaced.

My poor snookums woke again at 21h00, again headache plus all-over pain, then again at 03h00.
A bed for the little patient was made next to mine.
Keep 'em close when they're under the weather.

Hope he'll move towards being right as rain again today.
Sniff!


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