We have a lot to be grateful for, and that has to be said.
There are many aspects of our lives that we cannot control, and that lack of power to choose is sometimes suffocating and paralysing.
Actually, not sometimes - most of the time would be more accurate.
I've been having a helluva time with my fibromyalgia lately, and sleep eludes me without drugs and wine (I know: alcoholic, alcoholic, alcoholic....).
My arms and hands have started tingling at night in bed, which shoos sleep even further out the door.
So I went to see the doctor this morning, hoping to manage my pain and lack of sleep a bit better.
The verdict: Stress is the enemy.
My neck and shoulders are so stiff that it is affecting the nerves that run from my neck and shoulders down into my fingertips.
I got painkillers and sleeping tablets for the short-term, and a referral to a psychosomatic physiotherapist for the long-term.
Methinks I have a good new doctor.
And it has been a shitty year.
My dad got sick.
We moved house.
The husband had an operation.
I was overloaded with work.
We have a young family and aren't natural parents.
Little sleep was ours to be had.
(there I go wallowing again... but now it's done)
But we also had great things happen.
We're all alive and fairly well.
We live in a beautiful house in a beautiful part of the country (and in my homesickness, I never thought I would be able to find anything beautiful about the Netherlands and my life here)
My parents got to spend 3 months with us.
The kids are sleeping through the night.
The husband and I went to Paris and Amsterdam.
We have lots of wood, lots of wine, lots of books.
And we have each other.
I don't have many things that I want to change this coming year.
And while I'm mullling about what my goals are to be in 2013 (because one should have goals, you know), I can say one thing:
This year I would like to accomplish all I set out to do, because I refuse to have those same goals again for 2014.
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