C'est Le Weekend: Ram Dass Rocks

 

 

And somehow, this quote just brings me to tears.

Our weekend starts on a positive note.
The husband and I had a heart-to-heart, sorting our differences respectfully.
These are stressful times, and it gnaws at all of us, I suppose.

We woke to sunshine this morning, despite the cold, and it felt wonderful to walk outside in the garden and see a blue sky hanging overhead.
Now it's nearly 11 in the morning, and we are all still in our pajamas.
I have to study, we might drag the kids to Ikea for a frugal outing (for the millionth time...) and then I have to study some more.
My concentration is somewhat fragmented [insert guffaws], but I'm trying my best.
And that's about all I can do.


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The loooong weekend

Today and Friday there will be no school for the boys.
It coincides with lots of studying to be done this weekend, but luckily my mother is here to lend me a hand and an hour here and there to study my butt off for my first exam on Tuesday.
Thank the lucky stars for mothers like mine.

Here in the Nether Lands, we are back to rain and 13 degrees.
My hair is frizzy and my mind fuzzy from a nasty cold.
We make a good pair, my hair and I.
I take it all in my stride, because what else is there to do?
One can only take one step at a time, and even when thinking, one can manage only one thought at a time, even though they may come rat-a-tat, machine gun-style, in rapid succession.
Sometimes one can just go Vaya-Con-Dios-style.
Live and let live.
Keep calm and drink wine, and then keep calm again.
Sigh.


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A good philosophy, methinks

 

Veeeeery good.

 

 

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Enough said

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Being ready

We had a good weekend, but it ended on an explosive downer.
Too bad.

But it had me thinking about being ready for change in one's life.
Always postponing, thinking of the future but also getting lost in the quagmire of the hectic now.
I know I should practice being more Zen-ish (or my version of it), but sometimes the now is just crap and the promise of an escape button to Utopia is preferred.
Sigh.

My week starts busy, but then leaves me with ample moments to study in peace and quiet.
An assessment with my boss, a class to teach, a manual to start writing.
I'm taking it in my stride.
Tomorrow is (hopefully) another day, and there are very few insurmountable things in this old world.

Hope your week will be very, very good.


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Angular cloud

On the right.

'Cloud opening' is probably more apt.
Inbetween angular buildings, an angular peek to the skies above appears.

Rotterdam rocks.

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Brilliant

The guest apartment simply shines.
We ❤ light.

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C'est Le Weekend: Sick, Study, Sleep

It's all connected.
I'm sick - again.
I need to study, but don't sleep because of being sick, therefore I don't study as much as I should.
Then again, it might all be a smoke screen I chuck up just to evade responsibility.
I like that word:  Evade.
Suits me like a tailored glove.

Son#2 is off to his paternal grandparents' this weekend.
They bought Son#1 inline skates, which I wasn't too happy about, because:
a)  We have nowhere to skate, and
b)  It seemed very unfair to Son#2.

Son#2 phoned them numerous times to ask where his skates were, and we let him.
He's sticking up for himself more often, and puts his dominant older brother in his place, asserting himself and his rights.

Meanwhile, Son#3 started using the loo.
It's not a perfect process yet, but it's going in the right direction.
I guess it's time to ditch the onesies/rompers and buy the boy some proper underpants.
Thank the blooming heavens for daycare where they potty trained all our kids.
I'm afraid I lack the instinct to do things like that.

Now I'm off to wash my hair before our busy day starts.
It's packing for Son#2's sleepover, then swimming lessons, an extra swimming lesson an hour later, then making dinner and the husband will make the long trek to his parents' with Son#2, while I take Son#1 to rugby practice.
The little bugger tackled me this morning.
He's good.



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Wobbly walk

These are uncertain times.

Work is uncertain.

If the worst case scenario comes to fruition, we might lose everything.

Oh well.

 Then Life forces its hand, and we will have to just grin and bear it.

Roll with the punches.

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Sayonara, old stuff

The view from my new office.
The old office lies hidden, burried under the pile of rubble there on the right in front of the front hoe excavator (whose name I know because I have a gazillion sons).
 

This morning, it's just Son#3, my mother and I at home.
Son#3 is talking non-stop about Nelson, our dead cat, and my mother scampered back to the guest apartment after fixing breakfast for the boys.
She makes me coffee every morning, bless her.
The husband is grumpy and busy.

Today we're taking it slow.
Thing#1 and #2 fight and scream, overtired that they are.
They'll be home at 12.
I'm going to study, plant my salad seedlings, and fiddle on the sewing machine.
You might recall that I once mentioned that the manual clearly stated that the machine shouldn't be operated by idiots.
And how right they were.


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On the road again

We are busy.
We had a gorgeous weekend away in the Belgian Ardennes, lovely weather, castles, rolling hills and green.
Castles and caves with underground rivers.

Back in the Nether Lands, summer has arrived in full force.
The energy it delivers with it is most welcome, albeit short-lived and quickly extinguished.
I'm writing exams in 2 weeks' time, and then after the first exam, my mother and I are flying to Bergamo for a weekend.
After that, my money is gone, but that's fine.
We had it good for a while.

Son#2 has a dance performance at school this week, with the resulting tiredness and tantrums, which seem to go hand-in-hand.
Son#1 has rugby practice and discipline problems.
It's difficult to parent.
The fine line between being nice and being a parent that will deliver a respectful and able-to-love adult is tough to tread.
Son#3 is just cute, thank our lucky stars.
But between spending much-needed time with my mother, the husband, the kids and work/studies, I have little time to give to other pursuits, friends and this blog included.
Shameful, but true.
In a few weeks' time, life will have calmed down a bit, and so will I.


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Duh

Well, NO.

Life's busy enough, thankyouverymuch.

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An Astronaut, so he should know

Exploration really is the essence of the human spirit, 

and to pause, to falter, to turn our backs on the quest for knowledge,

is to perish.

- Frank Borman

Meanwhile, my mother and I went to Antwerp for the day, eating at the Grootte Witte Arend (first mentioned in history books in 1488 -!!!-) as usual.

Go look at the website, just immerse yourself in the little square with its flowers and charm.

We spent many a happy lunch there with my dad.

There's even a tiny chapel next door, and a heavenly shop with tiles and fixtures, all moody colours and wrought iron things that would last me a lifetime.

Then home.

Son#1 off to rugby practice.

Tomorrow is the husband's birthday, bless him.

We're all so glad he's around!

Besides, I love exploring new places with him.

x

 

 

Recognize the patterns

We went to rugby after all.

Just Son#1, torrential rain, the husband's 15 bucks, and I.

It was good that we went.

They need 7 players per match, and only 7 kids showed up.

Show up, participate, give it your best shot.

It's like a mantra for life.

Today is Monday, filled with meetings and more meetings, teaching classes I'm utterly unprepared for.  

My mind is somewhere - where I don't know, but my focus is gone.

Gone.

I have to study and remember stuff.

I can't even find words for what I want to say.

There is a glitch in my brain.
I have an appointment with an endocrinologist in July and I'm putting all my eggs in his hope-basket, praying that someone out there will be able to help me feel better.

Have energy for life, and not feel like an 80 year-old.

Even my nearly 80 year-old mother in law has energy and memory surpassing my own many times over.

The only thing that is good, is that I recognize what is going on here.

And if it's not my thyroid and adrenal glands, I'll eat my hat (and yours too).

I have ALL the symptoms.

I'm falling apart, and that's tough with a tough job and a tough little family and some tough, demanding self-expectations.

Breathe in, and out again.

Today is just today.

 Ain't it?

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To Rugby or Not to Rugby

A week ago, we were still dangling around here, in between large beers, Indian restaurants (some Portuguese ones too) and freedom.

Son#1 has a rugby tournament somewhere today, but it's still raining cats and dogs.

I had a tough night:  Son#3 crept into my bed in the wee hours, wide awake and happy.

Several trips back to his room followed.

Sigh.

Then when Son#2 with his loud voice, feet and door-closing-techniques followed at 6 a.m., I decided that that had been enough for one day.

Now it's just past 10 in the morning, and we could technically be at the tournament by 11, but I'm not sure I could manage that.

I have exams coming up and work to actually DO (not just faff about or postpone), time I'd like to spend with my husband, kids and mother, doctors appointments to make.

My thyroid is giving up, methinks.

But that's already far too much for one measly Sunday morning.

Now to ponder over the rugby while I still sip my coffee in my pajamas.

Aaaaah, Sunday.

Sunday.

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Tough one

We were in Portugal.

We were there.

But now we're back north, and it rains, it is cold, and we've been dipped in stress.

That holiday feeling doesn't last long, I'm afraid.

 

 

I will leave you with photos of our first destination, Porto.

The husband, my mother and myself, have been consuming the airport-bought Late Bottle Vintage Ports.

And I love Port.

In fact, I'm in love with Portugal.

Beers that cost 80 cents.

Every-single-blooming-person is friendly.

We don't have that here in the Nether Lands.

History and sun and magnificent food.

I'm in love with the husband, and I'm in love with Portugal.

 

It was good to see the boys too, although the realization that their behaviour is sometimes quite crap has hit hard, and mummy hits hard back (with a wooden spoon well-placed on buttocks, whenever I hear a disrespectful tone).

It's working so far.

Luckily my mother behaves, and I don't have to apply discipline there.

(We're going to Bergamo, in Italy, in a month's time, just the 2 of us).

 

Hopefully we won't drown in all the bloody rain before the last port is finished.

Go out with a bang, I say.

 

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