Thursday, April 2, 2015

Life

Next week I'm getting a PET-scan. 
No, it's not a scan of one's pet, but a scary procedure involving radioactive crap and cancer.
Must not think about it too much.
In a way, I'm utterly screwed whichever way I turn.
If they find nothing, I'm still stuck with ill health and no way of treating it, but if they do find something, I'm stuck with the consequences...

Sigh.
My university courses are being put on ice.
I realize I have been overly and unrealistically optimistic, and this illness isn't planning on going away soon.
Nearly 5 months with daily high fevers ain't for sissies.


Son#3 asserts himself, Son#2 gets mad and sad in a single breath and Son#1 has turned mostly docile.
The husband is down after & during our ongoing stress.
I miss my mother and being mothered.
I'm a forty year-old nitwit.

Spring is coming though.
Life keeps pushing out its new leaves, new lambs in the fields and new nests in the shrubs around our garden.
I set out a bowl with seeds for the birds (and possibly a bunch of freeloading mice too) every day: the pigeons make a helluva mess but the sparrows clean it up.
It keeps me busy and my mind occupied with Allied troops.
Good thoughts.


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2 comments:

  1. You know we say 'pet' in Dutch when something really sucks? Like "dat is echt pét zeg". Well, this PET scan of yours sounds pretty pet....
    In one way I hope you'll know what you're dealing with soon, on the other hand, I wish you didn't have to go through all of this. Hang in there, don't give up!!

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    1. 'Pet' as in the Dutch version sounds a helluvalot better than all the swear words I've come up with so far. Thank you Roos xxx

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