C'est Le Weekend: Backs against the squalls

Another weekend dawns.
I'll have to work.
As in really have to work.

Am seriously considering breaking one of my limbs in order to get out of work this coming week.
It's just too much.

Son#3 has been crying all morning and I feel like joining him.
Wish we could fly off to South Africa today and be with my parents.

Chin up, Yo.
Chin up. 

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Thunderous

I swore that tonight was the night that I would be telling my colleague-whose-son-I've-been-tutoring-for-free that I intend to QUIT, and now she's thwarted my plans by asking if he could come during the day - at work!!! - instead.

Sigh.

It's hard being a softie and a sucker, I'll tell you.

I have so much work that I need to get done that I might just as well burst into tears. 
Because that's what I want to do.
I don't like this adult life.
This you-need-to-work-in-order-to-eat life. 
This you-need-to-clear-the-dishwasher-or-nobody-else-will-do-it crap.
I don't like it one bit.

And I have to be honest (because on a semi-anonymous blog you can be honest, I think), that I want to be taken care of right now.
Coddled.
Pacified.
I shouldn't be in charge of anything in my present state of mind. 
Not a single decision, no child, and not myself.
Not even a what-the-hell-should-we-eat-tonight decision should be left in my care.

Sigh.

Sigh sigh sigh.


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Muhammad!

My new hero.

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I love changing seasons

 

Be-a-u-tiful!

Happy anniversary old farts!

My parents have stuck it out together for 41 years!

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Monday blows in

It will be a busy week.
I have work and extra lessons and saying farewell to one of the teachers at Son#3's daycare.
Will only be home by 9 p.m. I think.
My dad is getting test results.
Sigh.

This past weekend I discovered Skype thanks to my dad's insistence and the husband's capabilities in all things technical.
It's a free miracle.
All we need now is a webcam so the old farts in South Africa can see them grandkids.
Even Son#3 loves it.  
Excuse the blurry image, but he moves too fast.
My techno-boffin.

This has so far been The Year of Technology.
Tablets.
A new smartphone (still can't figure out what makes it smart, but O.k.)
Ereaders.
Skype.

Towards Progress!
In all things!


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C'est Le Weekend: Happier now

It' been a harrowing week that has left our little family shell-shocked and bruised.
My dad is back home from the hospital!
Yay! 

The autumn storms seem to have come quite late this year, and the wind is howling outside as I write.
Don't think the kiddies will be outside much today.
Damn.

Meanwhile I'm having to give all my savings to the Tax Man again, and I mean, all my savings.
Leaves little room for any free financial movement or luxury this close to the Festive Season.
Oh well.
Spent last night making an inventory of all the food we have in the house and I can safely say that we have most things to feed us all the way into the new year.
Gotta love hoarding of food.
All I'll need is bread, milk, and fresh fruit and veg.
Won't be all that bad (I think).

Today we're off to see the in-laws, and I still have an entire course to put together, compile a manual and powerpoints, and all before tomorrow morning!!!
Hysteria!!!
Hysterical laughter!!!!!!!


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Truth be told

Cancer is the looking glass that reveals

exactly who and what is really important in your life.

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Put your boxing gloves on, Daddy-O!

Life is a gamble.

You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day.

Same with fighters:  some die, some get hurt, some go on.

You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you.

 

 

 

- Muhammad Ali

 

 

 

 

Reverence for Life

And being humble in the face of it.

Hang in there, you old fart

My wonderful dad is in hospital.

I worry from afar.

And wish that I was there.

Important Words to live by

Careful for the emptiness

of a too busy life.

I don't know who said this.
It doesn't matter, really.

Truer words were never spoken.

Thanks for remembering it, Mom.

Ready to pounce

Them damn kids.
Yesterday saw the arrival of Sinterklaas again in the Netherlands.
Replete with steamboat and an army of Zwarte Pieten, remainders of the Moors in Spain.

We watched it together, me shouting enthusiastically everytime Sinterklaas popped onto the screen.
Son#1 has started to doubt his existence from under his blanket on the couch.
I would simply love to perpetuate the lie for the time being, as it enforces good behaviour and gives me something to bargain with.  
Sigh. 

The husband and I wrapped all the little gifts that the Pieten would be depositing through the fireplace in the coming weeks, left one in each child's shoe, had wine, and plonked in front of the fire.

We went to bed at 23h00, hoping for a good night's sleep.

Rude awakenings followed at 3.  
Lasted until 5.
Then again at 5h45, just as I nodded off again.
Then some shouting to go back to bed as all hope felt lost for getting any sleep whatsoever.
The husband finally gave up and got up.

Just relieved him from his post.
The boys are all chuffed with chocolate initials and free Lego catalogues I got at the toy store.

We'll all be taking a nap this afternoon.
We go through this every year.

Sigh.

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Sick bunny

My poor Son#1 has a bad case of the flu.
Literally within an hour or two, he was sporting a 39 degree fever and a massive headache.
Fears of meningitis surfaced.

My poor snookums woke again at 21h00, again headache plus all-over pain, then again at 03h00.
A bed for the little patient was made next to mine.
Keep 'em close when they're under the weather.

Hope he'll move towards being right as rain again today.
Sniff!


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C'est Le Weekend: Rusty but functional

Ahem.
It has now been almost 12 long years that I have lived in the Netherlands, nearly 13 in Europe.
And sadly, it's only since we've been living in the new house that I've noticed the seasons changing.

It is glorious.
Every little leaf saying sayonara to the sun, the earth readying for rest.

This weekend will see us traipsing to Amsterdam to Nemo but not before I spend my last money on the hairdresser.  
Who needs food when you need to look good?
I mean, really. 


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Words to live by

Cannot overemphasize the validity of this statement.

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Drawing drawing

May I recommend, that if you have children or if you like drawing yourself, to get Terry Longhurst's book:  I can draw (in Dutch:  Ik kan tekenen)

I bought it second-hand over the internet, but what a bargain.
Keeps 'em busy for hoooours.
And I can use it too!


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Bird Brain

There is something about birds.

Something is hounding me to start painting birds, birds and more birds.
Might be my bird-sized brain.

The husband and I had a great night last night.

We drank far too much wine and lit the fire in the fireplace for the first time.

Magic.

This morning I can feel the effects of both wine and oxygen deprivation.

One really should open a window, you know.

Sigh.

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Weeklong weekends would be great

It went well this weekend, and I am so proud of myself that I failed to do a stitch of work.

There was lots of pajama wearing.
Some were in Superman suits.

The husband and I drank wine and ate pears with gorgonzola and we cooked soup.

Son#3 was let loose in the playroom instead of being sequestered to the kitchen and he loved it.
LOVED it.
Then he was set free in the garden and loved that too. 

In his brother's bodywarmer, lest you think we dress our kids like this in the Netherlands.

Another week lies ahead.
Extra lessons I'm teaching.
Parent-teacher meetings.
A birthday party.
Plus finishing two manuals that I've been writing and ALL my marks.
Bbbbbbbbbbbbbreathe, Yo, just keep breathing.


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C'est le Weekend: Trains

If I won the lottery today, then I'd like to take a train somewhere.

With mountains.

And solitude.

And a good book or two.

And a samovar with coffee, not tea.

Aaaaaaaaah! 
Bliss!
Have a good weekend, wherever you might be.

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Blegh

It was such an absolutely awful day yesterday.
I know that days can contain events that are far worse, but one's mind is often the greatest enemy in your ordinary-boring-day.

I'll just say it once and then cease any kind of whining of any form, but I need to spit it out or might just choke me:

My fibromyalgia is getting me down.
DOWN.
My muscles just wouldn't cooperate yesterday.
I had trouble carrying Son#3 around, could hardly push the buggy, and in the evening I had trouble holding my arm at an angle (read:  holding a wine glass).
Had bouts of crying yesterday, beseeching the heavens for this life that I've received.
Wondered how I was supposed to find a smidgen of gratefulness.

Dear Reader, I haven't had an easy life, I'm afraid.
That's always a relative concept, isn't it?
But no, really, it hasn't been easy.
Even my very own mother has wondered aloud why bad luck always seems to hit its target with me.

Oh well.
I'll have to get over it, and by golly, today will be good.

 It will.

I cancelled my classes for today.
I'm working from home.
And I wish I could say working in the 'working'-sense, but no, I cancelled my classes just to get 6 hours' worth of time-to-do-all-the-things-I'm-running-behind-on instead of teaching.

And by Jove, if I ever, EVER, say yes to another friend/colleague/complete stranger's request and it actually costs me time, effort, money or whatever, please, PLEASE come and hunt me down like a wild dog and shoot me.
Dead.
As a doornail.

I'm begging you!


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Almost gone

Dash of blue.

Yellow and orange and red in flight.

Autumn is almost gone.

Far too soon. 

 

Backbone

I should grow one.

This week is busy and it's my own damn fault.

This morning I have a briefing for extra lessons for high school students.

This, because a colleague asked me if I would be interested (no, I wasn't), but having no backbone whatsoever, I felt sorry for her and said yes.

Then on Thursday, I have to give another colleague's son extra lessons, unpaid, because of the aforementioned lack of gumption.

In the meantime, I'm running behind on work, cleaning my house, spending time with husband and children, doing laundry - you name it and I'm behind on it - all because I haven't the heart to say no.

I'm not nice.

I'm an idiot.

With no hope of improvement.

Sigh.

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Dear Winnie the Pooh

I finally get you.

Finally. 

And not only because we seem to share the same body shape.

Conversations

It's been a good but busy weekend so far.
I've eaten too much in the UK, and roughly now weigh the same as I did when I was 6 months pregnant with Son#3.
How does one put on 3 kg in just 4 days???
My face is puffy.
And it's not fluid retention as I keep telling myself.
Own up to the truth, Yo!!  
 
Time to start skipping sizable meals, I guess.

The husband is going to New Orleans in March if we survive December 23rd.
This morning we talked about getting older and change and excitement after telling the kids to go and entertain themselves in front of the TV.
I love that TV.

Anyway, back to my point.
I was utterly convinced that at 40 I would have everything under control, be sure of who and what I was, had achieved all I set out to.
Not quite 40 yet, still 2 years to go, but I can't imagine that I'll be winning academic scholarships in the next two years.
(Hide your guffaws, puh-lease)
Won't very well be an expert in my field.

And I don't know if I feel negative about it - I don't think I do.
Perhaps it's just a happy acceptance that things don't always go as planned.

And thank goodness for that.
If that were the case I would have ended up with boyfriend#1, Andrew, and he had a few nuts and bolts on the loose, with swinging palms that bumped into my cheeks on one or two occasions.
Sigh.
Thank the stars for small mercies.

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C'est Le Weekend: Back to the fold

England was good.

Very good.

But this is better.

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All about hair, blood etc

All in all, it was a super visit to the UK.
I can't say it was anything other than educational, fun and a welcome distraction from the normal hum-drum of life.

Yesterday a myriad of lab work enlightened me to an entire new world of document forgery, hair analysis, fingerprint capture and drug testing.

I didn't wear a lab coat, only a pinafore, and I'm hoping no darn sniffer dog will single me out at the airport today.
Not with all the heroin and cocaine that floated around the lab.
Riveting stuff, let me tell you.

The students had fun.
I had fun.
And we learned stuff we wouldn't ever have had the opportunity to do.

One of the members of staff was so friendly to send me a copy of his book on forensic science after we had had a fantastic conversation about it.
I learned so much - about my subject and myself - this trip can only be labeled a success in every way.

I'm glad to be going home today, though.
I've missed my lovely hubby and my snazzy kiddies.
Will be glad when we're all under the same roof again.

Glad, glad, glad. 


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