The World and Everything in it

Had I not created my own world, 

I would certainly have died in other people's.

Anais Nin.

Note to self:  Go your Own Way.

New word

Tres important to know.

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Merry Mo(a)nday

Work.

Prepared the first class of a new course.
Made an appointment with my GP, then the dentist for Thursday.

First, however, I rushed home for our appointment with the social worker from the boys' school.
The school requested intervention for Son#1, because of The Daring Escapes.
The husband, myself, and Son#1 have moved on, and I wish the school would too.
Guess we are tired of problems.
Easy sailing calls my name.
Son#1 is getting an IQ test next week, to see whether he's gifted or not.
We don't care - we just want him to be a happy kid.
No more, no less.

Then a visit to the GP, who turned out to be an insecure GP-to-be with no answers.
My mouth is one, large burning ulcer, my glands and face swollen, but she doesn't know why.
My infection markers are low, so I don't have leukemia, as the other GP last Wednesday apparently thought (what the hell???), and no diabetes.
I feel a bit despondent nonetheless.
Things like 'oral cancer' start swirling through my synapses.
All those stupid years of heavy smoking and going out till the wee hours of the morning.
Not knowing is not good.
Ignorance ain't bliss.

Came home to sunshine, cooked dinner, calm kids, and stupendous wine.
The husband is a god.

In South Africa, my father took his first shower in 8 weeks.
Risky business, but he loved it.

It's nearly bedtime and I still need to wash my hair.
But I'm thinking bugger that.
Nobody ever got fired for straggly locks, methinks.


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A happy bugger

A friend's son came to play yesterday afternoon. 

Quelle serenity this boy seems to exude.

Enviable!

Son#2 is sick, yet still quite loud & present.

Despite a wheezing chest and large sailor's cough.

Better give him his asthma meds.

I need to prepare work for Monday's lessons, against my better judgment.

But I can't look like a no-knowledge wally in my lessons, now can I?

Then we're going to the in-laws, who are somewhere on the coast, either today or tomorrow.

The brother-in-law and our previously-incarcerated 11 year-old nephew is also joining us.

The brother-in-law's marriage is falling apart, it seems.

So much unhappiness and despair in the world and between people.

I try to fight hard against my nature to keep looking for that which is still good.

And leave my down moments for my poor husband and parents to listen to.

 

The only thing that is constant, is change.

You have to change to stay the same.

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C'est Le Weekend: Mmmmmm

An odd week.
But at least the morning started well-ish.
Son#3 and I bonded in the living room, bathed in morning sun creeping through the curtains.
 

Played footsie for a bit.

In a little while, I'm driving to the next village to see my friend Karen, who is 37 weeks pregnant with Number 3.
The Demons of Destruction will come home for lunch.
I want to call my dad, who feels like everything is a bit hopeless and blegh.   
And it's fine to feel like that, too.

First of all, coffee.
Breakfast.
Kissing Son#3
Looking at my uber-dirty house and not planning to do a damn thing about it.
Life is short, after all.
 

Be Compassionate Today

Just compassion, today.

No reason in this world for me to be over-assertive.

Just kind.

Meet others in love and servitude.

This morning, blood tests.
Then to see my work coach for necessary guidance.
Coffee with my friend Sandra.
Home to make soup.
I even soaked the blooming beans last night.
Yum yum.

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Inuit Hunter

 

Son#1.

A.k.a. The Artist.

I've been to see my doctor.

Blood tests for diabetes will follow.

And for infection, seeing as I have a lump on the side of my face, just in front of my left ear.

Things to worry about or to just let go.

Right now, I'm sipping my coffee and pondering this gorgeous Inuit Hunter.

Proud and vulnerable.

Just like Son#1.

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Being Zen

Yesterday was wonderful.
So wonderful, that I couldn't bring myself to actually sit in front of the computer all day.

Instead, I followed the advice given by my work-coach-person:

3 Elements are essential for destressing:

Movement - Relaxation - Social Contact.

Yesterday, I accomplished all 3.
First I cleared out the crap in the playroom, then proceeded to talk to our kind cleaning lady whose life is even more of a soap opera than mine, and then I spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch, reading.
Bliss.
Balance.
Zen.

But (and there is always a but), while on the couch, I stuffed my face with popcorn and then large amounts of fudge, resulting in a 6,9 blood sugar reading this morning - either the end destination for prediabetes, or the start of diabetes.
Tomorrow to the doctor.
We'll see.


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Words to live by

Life-changer.

(She wrote a nice book, so by the way!)

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Un Peu Pooped

Sleep wasn't my companion this week.
Being roused by bloodsucking mosquitoes or (bloodsucking) kids in the middle of the night, the husband is feeling out of sorts, I overdid it at work this week, my dad coming home...  
It's all a bit much.

I had a bit of a meltdown with the boys yesterday.  
There is something wrong with their volume-buttons and ability to get along.
And that, in turn, affects my volume-button and ability to get along.

When the husband started complaining about the mess that resides in just about each and every cupboard in our house, I got a wee bit annoyed this morning and got snappy.
Today, I will need to clean the abovementioned cupboards, I suppose.

What I'd rather do, is sit outside, sip coffee, later wine, read, watch my pears grow on my pear tree.



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