Tuesday, September 15, 2015


Life out in the Styx has been groovy and quiet.
It is simply WONDERFUL having my mother here: my self- confidence returned with a vengeance.
School gallops ahead, the boys are busy but content.

My continued illness (38.9 degree fevers, pain, stiffness, too tired for words) is a concern.
Should I try and keep my job?
Is it the job causing all the problems?
Should I cut and run (like hell)?
I lack concentration & energy.
Next month an appointment with an immunologist at an academic hospital.
I am not holding my breath any longer.
The fact is that I might and will probably NEVER know what is wrong with me.

But there is room for good things too.
A quick breakfast with my mum.
Feeling calm and peaceful despite the turmoil that being chronically ill can bring.
I'm a better mother.
My kids seem to love me despite my faults.
The husband thinks I'm pretty damn cool.
My employer seems to want to keep me on the payroll.
I have a student trying to march me to the exam commission after she failed a course for the 3rd time, but it leaves me unaffected.
We have fire.
And supPORT.

Life or circumstances are far, FAR from ideal.
But it could all be quite crap, and it isn't.
Small, grand mercies.


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