Isolation

Changes happen quickly.

At nearly midnight, I was moved to isolation.

Some hospital bug.

The new room has great views of Rotterdam.

Ships, cars and people come and go.

The only downsides are that I can't use the bathroom and I can't continually get myself a coffee from the machine down the hall.

It is quiet though.

And I slept like a babe from around 3 a.m. onwards.

Count yer blessings, missy!

Hopefully I can go home again tonight.

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What a lot I've got

My mother has come and gone, leaving a gaping hole at home.
I'm spending a few days in hospital, in Rotterdam, for tests to check my adrenals and to see if my fever peaks high enough. 
As I write, I'm sporting 38,3 degrees, but alas: it has to be 38,5 before they'll draw blood.

The lady in my room has dermatomyositis, a man next door passed away.
I've weasled my way into getting released tomorrow night - quickquick, thankyouverymuch.
I'm in pain - the usual suspects in my arms and legs, plus some serious neuropathy in my right arm for good measure.

The husband was forced to take days off.
The boys go fishing close to our house.

Next week I have to see my boss.
I'm unable to continue with the stress he delivers, chopping 20% off of my salary and so forth.
In my own way, I also attempt to move forward.
I'm still alive, not wearing nappies like my hospital roommate.
So far so gooooood.


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Barking

Son#3, in a nasty tablet-throwing-mother-beating-screaming funk, has been at it for 4 days.

Inevitably, so have I, and we seem to feed off each other's energy.

I went to bed at 7 last night, lest I rip someone's head off.

I seem to know my limits after all.

My mother leaves next week.

It went by too fast.

She stepped into our life with easy strides, but the exit will be dramatic. 

The immunologist will re-assess all my tests and PET-scans, ordered new blood tests.

I just need a starting point.

That's all.

Just a 'this-is-what-you-have'.

I'm a sucker for clarity.

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A wee bit of sunshine

Quickly gone again.

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Waiting for Trains

Abcoude to Amsterdam.

Short but sweet.

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Steamtrained

We have had hellish weeks.
There have been discussions with school after Son#2 (he is only 7!!) got detention for the gazillionth time (and he's such a rule-follower, not a trouble maker at all).
His teacher is not kind, inexperienced, hormonal.
And when you're 7 and not particularly self-confident, you need a kind teacher.

Son#1 has a new teacher whom he still needs to get used to (and he ran away from school - again).

Then an altercation with my employer who thought it prudent to cut my contract down (legally, he hasn't a leg to stand on and implied that I'm a bad employee for asking for my rightful salary).
Panic attacks.
Two of them.

I had to see a psychiatrist to see if I'm depressed or not.
Funny thing - I don't feel depressed at all.
But she thought so anyway.
Mmmmm.

Tomorrow I have to see the immunologist in Rotterdam.
Son#2 is dreadfully sick, running a helluva fever.

But I have tropical-island-escape-plans in my head...
Escape this void consumerism: the design furniture, the fake veneer of supposed perfection and success, the close proximity of others here in the Nether Lands that makes my skin crawl.
I don't want to keep up with the Joneses.
I want to shoot them.




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