The Point

I saw a new immunologist who thinks that I'm in a prodromal phase (i.e. initial phase) of a systemic autoimmune disease.

Blood tests, results next week.

He seems to be connecting dots, and although that is  exactly what I wanted - someone to look at the big picture of my illness - I feel so, so very sad about his conclusion.

Lupus?

Scleroderma?

He said it can take years before we get to a clear diagnosis.

I am going back in 3 months' time and need to speak to my GP for pain management.

Home again.

Meeting with Son#3's teacher plus other kindergarten teacher.

Son#3 is definitely not continuing to the next year. 

He 'plays too much', especially with younger kids.

Horror of horrors, a toddler who plays.

Tsk tsk tsk.

We have NOTHING to say about this, no control.

I'm fervently hoping that we are wrong and the teachers are right - because we want what is best for Son#3.

But this complete lack of control of any direction of my life got my goat today and I threw a tantrum at home.

What oh what is the point of this blooming existence?

We are born, life-strife-people-problems and then we all die anyway.

I am struggling today.

My mother listened patiently.

Thanks mum.