Today

Today I just miss my dad.

Something awful.

And my mind won't bend around that fact, absorb it, feel it:

He's not going to answer the phone again.

I won't hear a sarcastic-but-well-meant comment.

I can't ask him for advice.

 

The saddest moment of my entire life, was when I flew to South Africa with Son#3 after my dad passed away.

Only my mother waited for me at the airport.

And that had never happened before.

I miss his kind face, his neat hands.
Unfailing loyalty.
The best of hearts. 
His shadow will never again fall on the earth.

.