Friday and we sigh a sigh of pure relief

I think I've mentioned how having a nervous breakdown is hard work.
This week, I saw the doctor at work, the shrink, and the jury is unanimous: 
Burnout.
Exhaustion.

I'm getting 4 weeks off work to recuperate.

On the one hand, I'm sososo glad that I finally took the step and admitted that I'm faililng miserably at juggling all these balls that give me so much stress.
On the other hand, I feel like a failure and that I'm letting everyone down.

But.
Big but(t).
The part of my brain that is still capable of rational thought, realizes that my methods of coping with all the stressors, are simply not effective anymore.
And that necessitates change.

Dear reader, 

• when you haven't slept for 5,5 years
• if you lie awake worrying how the hell you're going to get through the month, the week or the day
• if you start sweating for no reason
• have heart palpitations
• and shaky hands
• if you turn into Satan when addressing your kids or people in traffic
• and every little nonsensical thing sets you off in a rage
• or if you simply can't muster the blooming energy to get up in the morning

Then a word of advice:

Things are not going well.

I missed the signs, and ended up here.

Now just to find a really positive twist and twang to add to this period of my life, and it will all be worth it in the end.
The purpose-driven life.
It will be mine.

.