Future Dealers

They set up shop in the road behind our house, Loom bracelets ready for trade.

Son#1 declared it his worst day ever.

Tomorrow, Son#2 is off to the in-laws' for a sleepover.

I rediscovered the wooden spoon (a.k.a. Mr. Discipline).

Results so far: gooooood.

.

Regurgitate

We went to Amsterdam on Sunday, the husband and Son#1 went to a car show, and #2, #3 and I went to the Vondelpark, found a tiny bistro with burgers and waited for the rain to stop.
It was good.
#2 and #3 were utterly fascinated by the trams.
We really should get out more.
But artistic Son#2 told me that he had butterflies in his belly because of all the new things he was seeing, bless.

Yesterday, Sons #2 and #3 took part in the King's day activities and got a large bag of candy for their efforts.
We are more republic-inclined, to tell you the truth, making me feel like a freeloading fraud by being there.
Ha.

The husband gave me a good talking-to about stress and what has happened to my mind and body, and also that he's making this decision FOR me: I have to leave my job.
Yay emancipation, but strangely, it feels blooming fantastic that someone else is taking the reins.
We are working out our (tight, cinch-cinch) budget.
That old adage of if-you-keep-doing-the-same-thing-you-get-the-same-results.
I'll need legal advice, methinks.

It's the May holidays though.
The boys and I will bake a cake today and hang around the house.
The husband cleared the old play-tower-thing  in the garden last night, readied for a more civilized version we bought on the cheap, with long blue slide and a roof so the boys can play outside in winter too.
Change is a-coming


.

Fine Young Criminals

Son#2 has his first ever own rugby tournament this morning.

He's been up since 6, getting dressed up in his rugby gear.

Son#3 is testing-testing his new-found Boyhood at the Big School.

Pity.

I was so hoping he would stay sweet and loving.

This afternoon we're driving towards the coast to go buy a second-hand bread hook for the bread machine.

We keep ourselves busy.

The May holiday has started, two weeks of togetherness whilst I'm thinking I need some time alone.

Son#1 falls asleep with me every night, the husband depositing him in his own bed later.

But from sun up to sundown, I have kids with me.

Books and solitude.

Sigh.

.

Day of rest? For whom?!?

Son#3, who is utterly knackered after a long day at school yesterday, has a day off.

He talks a lot.

He asks a lot.

If I answer with an 'I'll think about it', he tells me that WE will indeed think about it, and then answer with a 'YES'.

Dictator with curls, I assure you.

.

Sunshine

I spent the afternoon sitting in the sun under the blossoming pear tree.

The boys were off playing in a self-built hut.

Son#3 watered everything and then some.

We raked the leaves and pulled some weeds.

A mountain of rogue grass tufts and pretty flowering weed-like  mini-plants still await someone.

I won't be able to move my arms tomorrow, methinks.

We drank wine and ate salads with Haloumi cheese, limes and avocado.

Simple, but good.

.

Connect/Disconnect

I woke from a disturbing dream, dreaming that my dad had just passed away for the second time.
Dreams are abstract, as is our place in the world.

I lay awake thinking of 2 girls I knew.
The first girl, whom I knew for a while whilst living in France, now lives in Houston, married to a man who is the twin brother and husband of the second girl, now living in Edinburgh, who went to school and uni with me in Pretoria.
Strangely, these twin men, used to live in Durban (1400 km away from Pretoria and where I'm from), and went to the same school as I.
Their younger brother, Carel, was in MY class and used to fart in class regularly, and our teacher, who had an enormous beehive, would then strike a match.

The world is small but big.
My connection to it is getting smaller but more eclectic.
Some connections are abstract, most are concrete.
Is this just a regular feature of getting older?

I went to bed, holding Son#1's hand, pulling my other hand through his hair (he loves that).
He told me that when I am gone and he is a grandfather, he'll remember my hands.
Bless.


.

The good, the bad & the ugly

The (very) good news is that I don't have cancer anywhere in my body.
The PET-scan was clear.
I probably have celiac's disease, but that's okay: I wasn't planning on blasting myself with gluten again anyway.

The bad & ugly news is that there is NO answer to explain all my symptoms and there is NO protocol to follow that will get me back to 'better'.
Back to the drawing board.

When I picked the kids up from school, a concerned mum asked if I were perhaps in the menopause??
No.
I just look like crap, thankyouverybloomingmuch.
(That was the point where I started crying. Again.).
But this prompted me to blow my food budget on skincare products.
Lots of skincare products.
My days of putting coconut oil (nice, make no mistake), are over.
And it feels goooooood.

.

Educational Genesis

Here's to new beginnings.

A lifetime of learning still awaits my youngest.

I hope I can see him and his brothers a long ways through.

.

A mantra for every day

And I mean: Every. Day.

.

Nothing more beautiful

Happy 4th birthday, Bucky Boy.

You're a SPECIAL one, you are!

.